I am but your Humble Servant
by snowrabbitboy
Summary: InquisitorxCole
1. Chapter 1

Artemis entered the main hall of Skyhold and was met with the cacophony of its many inhabitants who were celebrating the defeat of Corypheus with good food and alcohol aplenty. Her light foot-wraps, which left her heels and toes exposed, allowed the elf to glide silently through the mass of people undetected. She wanted to head straight to her quarters and fall into the embrace of slumber to soothe her aching heart. However she only covered a few feet before she was beckoned. It was Varric who called out to her, being part of her inner circle meant he was used to her light footfalls and quiet presence.

"Moony! Come here a sec will you?" Varric's silk tunic hung open as usual, but tonight his chest was much pinker than normal, no doubt as a result of the copious amounts of alcohol he had already consumed.

 _Moony. Varric's nickname for her was an odd one, but one she grew fond of as she began to understand its endearing quality rather than the jibe she once presumed it to be. Artemis was not totally sure why he called her that. Perhaps it was because she was Dalish, perhaps it was because of her pure white hair or perhaps it had no meaning behind it at all. Knowing Varric it could be one or all of these reasons combined, but she had long forgotten to mind._

"Here Moony, have some of this. You'll need it." Varric smiled warmly as he handed her a crystal cup full almost to the brim with a dark red liquid. For fear of spilling its contents, Artemis quickly took a sip from the glass and was pleasantly surprised with its sweet flavour and warming effect. Varric chuckled heartily, before turning solemn. "Now that's out of the way, how are you holding up, really?"

Artemis paused, not lifting her gaze from the cup of wine. _Solas_. _He left me, broken and raw. He took away my vallaslin that had harshly broken my clear, pale visage and then tore my heart from my chest. As much as it had hurt, I couldn't bring myself to be angry at him, never raising my voice as he turned his back on me and left me alone in the clearing_. _And now he is gone forever, no longer lingering in his room at the bottom of the tower_.

Hot tears sprang forth and threatened to spill as she lifted her eyes from her cup to Varric's friendly face. Before she had a chance to mutter words she hadn't even thought of yet, Varric's eyebrows had raised inward to give him a look of sadness, and had set aside his pewter cup and wrapped his short arms around Artemis' waist. He rested his head on her abdomen and patted her back comfortingly, whispering soothing words of consolation.

Artemis hugged Varric back and silently let the tears fall into his hair. She quickly regained her senses and hastily wiped her tear stained face, gently pushing Varric from her.

"Thanks Varric. I needed that. I just don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

Varric looked cheerfully up at her face. "Don't worry about what you are supposed to feel, Moony. Just feel. And drink." He nodded up at the glass she still held. "Trust me, despite all his knowledge, Chuckles is clearly a fool to leave you and the Inquisition. Take your time and do what you do best, rationalise. You don't need that egghead to make you happy."

Artemis was grateful for his advice and thanked him before downing the entire glass. Varric's eyes widened before grinning happily. "There you go. Now go get yourself another and try to have a good night. Don't stow yourself away when you have so many friends who can help you through this. I mean shit, I even heard Vivienne say she was worried about how you were doing." He laughed to himself before shoving her backwards into Dorian who had made his way toward them.

Dorian stopped her from falling with his chest, all the while holding a drink in each hand high above him to save the precious liquid from spilling. "Watch it dwarf. Do you know how hard wine stains are to get out of this fine cloth?"

Varric waved his hand dismissively, muttering a quip and walking off in search for someone else, probably Cole.

"Here, have a drink. I'm one hundred percent certain this will taste much better than whatever he was giving you." Dorian handed her another glass and she took a large mouthful.

"It's exactly the same," Artemis looked up awkwardly, trying to stifle a laugh.

"What! Well I suppose he has a refined taste in something after all. I'm as surprised as you surely are. Anyway I came to ask for a dance. Everyone here dances so plainly, I thought it time to add some flair." Dorian extended his hand and bowed dramatically.

Artemis gulped down the rest of her drink and accepted, taking his much larger hand in hers, smiling. They walked away from the table and began spinning around the floor, a little quickly for her liking considering her two-drinks-in-a-few-minutes-feeling. Her reflexes were slightly slower and the room seemed to blur when he spun her around. Despite this however, she was enjoying herself immensely, the alcohol masking the effects of her heartbreak.

As she clung to Dorian with her small hands she had an idea. "Hey Dorian, won't Bull be jealous you're dancing with me?" She grinned wildly up at the Tevinter.

He let out a laugh as his tanned skin turned a shade redder. "That brute would never dance. He will have to make it up to me some other way. And besides, he knows I would never have eyes for a female. No offence intended of course, Inquisitor."

Artemis laughed and patted his shoulder. "Of course not. Just make sure you both know the safe word." She flushed and covered her mouth in shock after the words left her mouth.

Dorian was in hysterics when he replied. "Oh you are _fun_ when you're drunk!"

Across the room, Varric was making his way towards the blonde boy who was sitting cross legged on the end of a table. Everyone around kept their distance from the strange young man as he trained his eyes on something across the hall.

"Kid? What are you doing all alone over here?" Varric waited for a reply that didn't come as Cole never pulled his gaze from whatever he was watching. Varric stood on tiptoes to hold his head level with Cole's and followed the boy's line of sight. He saw Leliana chatting with Josephine but by the way Cole's eyes had been travelling back and forth it couldn't have been them he was watching. Further behind the pair, Varric spotted Dorian and Artemis spinning around and laughing.

Varric smiled and looked at Cole. "Looks like fun, hey Kid?"

Cole didn't let his pale blue eyes drift from the dancers. "Yes," he breathed quietly. "Talking, touching, so close it's comforting, clearing. Easing the hurt."

"We'll come on then. I saw Maryden standing off to the side on my way over. I'm sure she'd like a dance."

"No," Cole replied matter of factly, eyes still trained on Dorian and Artemis as they finished their dance and made their way to a table of drinks.

Varric was slightly confused and shook his head in dismissal. "Well, becoming more human certainly hasn't made you any less confusing, has it Kid?"

Losing the pair from his sights in the crowd, Cole looked at Varric and tilted his head slightly. "Why should it. Hungry. Thirsty. Sleepy. More confusing, complex to me, why not for you too?"

"Point taken," Varric supposed.

Artemis and Dorian found Bull sitting with the Chargers and a group of others, with a dozen empty mugs in front of him. "Hey Boss. These guys thought they could beat me at a drinking contest! Half of them couldn't even stomach the first cup of my special stuff!"

He clapped his hand a little too hard on Krem's back causing him to lurch foreword, drink sloshing from his cup. "Chief!" Krem complained. "Watch what you're doing."

"Don't get your undergarments in a knot, krem de la crème. Hey you, other Vint, come here and have a drink with Bull."

Dorian rolled his eyes at Artemis and joined Bull at the table, but not before grabbing his horn and shaking his head vigorously.

Artemis grabbed one of Bull's filled tankards and took a sip. It poured down her throat like liquid fire, but thanks to that night at the Herald's Rest, she was not taken by surprise.

Artemis began to make her way towards Sera to chat, not noticing Cole approaching her from behind. Before he could catch up, Cullen had reached her and asked her for a dance. Cole's head dropped, his hat covering his face more than usual. He disappeared and reappeared on the railing high above the hall, hoping Vivienne wouldn't notice and scold him for being in her quarters. He kicked his feet on the stone to a rhythm while watching the Inquisitor and Cullen dance.

"You are looking awfully flushed Inquisitor. How much have you had to drink?" Cullen looked at the tankard Artemis held in her hand over his shoulder, and smelled the contents. "Well you got that one from Bull obviously."

Artemis giggled and held up her hand, indicating the number five. The number didn't matter to her _. I will drink as much as I please because it makes me forget the pain that the elf caused_.

"Inquisitor!" Cullen's voice was raised and slightly panicked. "You've barely arrived and already five! Remember how small you are. You will be toppling from the battlements soon!"

"Hush Commander. Lucky we aren't on the battlements then. I'm fine." She took another swig from her mug, eyes locked onto Cullen whilst she drank as if to reassure him. "I was thinking, just to prove to you how clear thinking I still am, we should all get together for another game of Wicked Grace after everyone else leaves." She gave a goofy grin as Cullen blushed at the memory. "Don't worry. Josie won't force you to strip again because I will be winning now I know how to play."

"Fine. But I suggest you sit down for a while and have some water before the game."

Cole watched from above as Artemis made her way over to the table where Sera was perched and picked up another drink, toasting with the other elf. Cole also watched as she untied her pure white hair, and smiled as it fell down her back perfectly, reaching just past her backside. _Soft, smooth and shining. Pure, perfect, the picture of innocence, so similar to snow or the moon. Yet so loud, the pain, the hurt, Solas is scarring_.

The last few people cleared out from the main hall of Skyhold and Artemis was quickly on her feet, gathering her inner circle for the game of Wicked Grace. It was the early hours of the morning as the group made their way to the Herald's Rest, some stumbling more than others. Artemis lead the way with Sera in tow, and unlocked the empty tavern, beckoning them in enthusiastically. They took their places at the large table and Vivienne, whom was quite unaffected by the alcohol, began to deal the cards. Artemis took a seat with Cole on one side and Blackwall on the other.

Sera grabbed her cards and was practically jumping out of her seat. "Yes! I actually get to play this time!"

Blackwall chimed in. "And whose fault was it that you were passed out under the table last time?"

"Oh pish. Sera's gambling tonight will be sponsored by some rich tits noble I plonked the other week." Sera grabbed out a sack of coins and sat it in front of her excitedly.

Vivienne called order to the table. "Dealer's right goes first. Leliana, first round."

Cole looked down in front of him and realised he did not have a set of cards. "Hold on. Where are my cards?"

Vivienne was quick to respond tactfully, albeit with a hint of disgust. "Due to your abilities, you would be at an incredible advantage over the others. So sorry dear."

Cole's head dipped and turned his attention to fastening a buckle on his arm. Seeing his melancholy, and perhaps upon realising she was not quite able to focus fully, Artemis patted his arm comfortingly. "Don't worry Cole. You can be in charge of the amount I bet. How does that sound?"

Cole's eyes lit up behind his flaxen bangs and gave her a thankful smile.

Stories were exchanged with no sense of embarrassment or inappropriateness. Throughout the duration of the game, many blushes and laughs were had and Artemis reflected on her inner circle which had become her family. She loved each and every member, as well as Solas, and was saddened by the thought that some members would soon be parting ways.

The game came to an end and surprisingly it was Sera who swept in the winnings. "Yes! Wild card gets the prize. It's this haircut innit. So bad it distracts you all!" She laughed hysterically.

"At least you admit that it is horrifyingly terrible," Vivienne jabbed. "However, it is beyond my comprehension how you, Inquisitor, managed to lose the most despite the help of the spirit, who can read minds." She stared in disbelief at Artemis who seemed unaffected by her loss.

Cole looked apologetically at Artemis before speaking softly. "I'm sorry I lost your money. I was disturbed, distracted by the loudness of a hurt."

Artemis smiled back at him. "Don't worry about it Cole. It's only money. Besides I had the best time losing it all." She turned back to the rest of the group while Cole remained staring at her smooth face. Being this close to her was almost enough to intoxicate him as much as the alcohol the others had consumed. He could smell the sweetness of her skin and feel the warmth radiating from her body. As she stood to address her companions, he realised just how close her slender hand now was to him. In a daze, he slowly reached up with his long fingers, wanting just to graze her palm, just to feel it's softness.

Artemis raised her arms and outstretched them as if to encircle the group. Cole quickly retracted his hand and lowered his head, scolding himself for being so silly. _I am Cole, not Solas. I cannot touch that shining skin. She is so loud, the pain inside is blinding and binding. I must help her, but not for me, for her_.

Artemis' voice caught in her throat as she spoke, emotion cancelling her inebriation. "You guys are my family and I value each and every one of you. You have all made great sacrifices to join the Inquisition and I cannot describe the gratitude I feel towards that strength." Tears stung her eyes for a second time that day but she bit back the pain and continued. "Some of you will soon be leaving to pursue great things and I extend to you my sincerest well wishes for your future endeavours. And let it be known, you are always welcome in both Skyhold and the Inquisition, and never hesitate to call upon me, for I am but your humble servant."

There was a moments silence as her words sank in and a few tears wiped clear. This silence was soon broken by a emotionally distraught Bull, who vaulted over the table, spraying cards and coins in every direction, and crashed into Artemis. His sheer weight in comparison to her lithe frame sent them both to the ground and he sobbed into her, mumbling heartfelt compliments and thanks.

Artemis flailed her arms, calling for someone to heave the Bull from her, and soon Cullen was hauling him back into a chair while the others laughed. She decided it wasn't worth the effort to pick herself up off the ground and instead raised both arms in the air. "Go on you loveable idiots. See you all later, most likely mid evening. And remember, speak quietly for I suspect some heads will be throbbing mercilessly."

Everyone slowly piled out of the tavern making their way back to their quarters, some travelling in pairs. Cassandra and Varric headed towards the main hall together, and Blackwall and Josephine left in the direction of the stables. Dorian was dragging Bull from the tavern with great effort, while Sera cradled her winnings upstairs to her room. It was not long before Artemis was left alone, or thought she was alone.

She felt a warm presence beside her, and slowly turned he head to the side, noticing it was Cole who was staring back at her. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I told you not to worry about the money Cole. Go get some sleep."

"I'm a spirit. Spirits don't sleep." Cole was whispering and she could feel his warm breath on her face.

She chuckled to herself, eyes remaining shut. "That's not the truth anymore is it? Since you started becoming more human you get hungry, and sleepy don't you? Oh no." Artemis suddenly had a revelation and she opened her eyes, looking into Cole's own blue ones. "You don't even have a bed. I will send for one immediately." She began to rise slowly and pull herself to her feet.

Cole stood quickly, shaking his head. "No. You needn't worry about me. Pain searing and scorching, but not physical. You hurt, Artemis. You are so loud it hurts to hear. Solas burns you, buries you. Let me help, heal your heart, stop the loudness I have to listen to."

Artemis had begun to shake and tears streamed down her face as Cole spoke. _My pain is hurting him. How could I be so selfish. I'm so sorry Cole_. "I'm sorry Cole, I shouldn't have." She turned and ran from the tavern, trained feet carrying her swiftly across the courtyard and into the hall. She tripped up the final step in front of the throne and fell flat and without grace. She lay there, vision obscured by the tears and heart aching for her friend she was hurting. She clambered to her hands and knees before she was gently pulled up by an unseen force. She raised her head and saw Cole and realised his hands were around her slight arms. She burst into a fresh set of sobs at the sight of his face.

It hurt Cole to see her like this and pained him to know it was his doing. Everything had came out wrong. _I have to fix it. Helping is so hard when they remember me_. He effortlessly scooped the elf up into his arms and carried her up the steps leading to her bedroom. When he slowly lowered her small frame onto her bed, he noticed she had fallen asleep. He pulled to covers over her body and studied her face sadly. Her eyelashes were wet from crying and he could see the glimmer of the tracks the tears had left as the moonlight glinted off her pale face. He carefully touched a hand to her cheek and exhaled a content sigh. The warmth from her cheek pierced his chest and he felt his stomach flip when she pressed into his hand in her slumber.

"I'm sorry." He barely spoke, instead seeming to breathe the phrase as he gently wiped her stained cheek with his thumb. He withdrew his hand from her face, allowing it to just graze her full lips as it went. He felt a heat in his abdomen that he could not understand and thought he would ask Varric about it when he awoke. He stole a glance at her sleeping form before descending the stairs and quietly closing the door behind him. Rather than returning to his usual spot in the tavern, he decided to stand guard at her door, in case anyone tried to hurt her in her drunken state. He sat against the wall and lowered his head, allowing his large hat to obscure his face fully. _I like Varric. I like Blackwall and the Iron Bull too. I even like Sera. And I like Artemis. But somehow it feels different, delicate, distracting. She shines so bright_. His eyes dropped and he fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Artemis opened her eyes only a fraction, an attempt at minimising the striking pain in her head. She squinted against the bright evening sun and clutched her forehead, before rubbing gently, trying to coax the throbbing into ceasing. This had little effect and she sighed heavily, kicking off the covers and slowing rising, legs hanging off the side of the bed. _How did I manage to get myself to bed last night? Last thing I remember I was face down in the hall and Cole... By the Maker! Cole must have brought me here and tucked me into bed._

Artemis blushed at the thought of Cole carrying her and laying her down on the bed. It all seemed a bit too intimate for her liking, and it can't have been easy for him, considering just how much she could hurt the boy by simply being in his presence. She sighed once more and eased herself off the bed, arms outstretched to steady herself. She clumsily trudged to the pitcher of water on her desk and took a small sip, savouring its cooling effect. Despite this, her head did not let up. _I might have to go see Stitches and ask about a remedy for this headache._

Artemis walked over to the mirror and inspected her reflection. Her pale skin was no longer flushed from alcohol, and her long hair wasn't terribly tangled, hanging in loose curls past the small of her back. She leant in closer to check her face. Her two differing coloured eyes peered back at her and were clear, despite her late night. While her right, blue eye was untouched, just below her left, green eye was a deep cut. The blood had clotted and dried, and it only hurt if she touched it, but for all she tried, she could not recall how she had acquired the injury.

Artemis reluctantly turned away from the mirror and made her way to the stairs, having decided against tying her hair back for lack of motivation. She stepped down, each footfall in time to the pain in her head. She reached the heavy door, and quietly opened it slightly, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to herself. She stuck her head though the gap and looked around, checking to see if she had a clear passage. However, after looking down, she spied a sleeping Cole at her feet. Artemis let out a small, surprised squeal, and in an instant Cole had disappeared, having teleported to an unknown location.

Artemis caught herself and placed a small hand on her chest, feeling her erratic heartbeat and willing it to calm itself. She hadn't meant to scare Cole into teleporting, but seeing him asleep so close to her had been startling, especially after the previous night. Artemis felt a pang of guilt after she had waited a moment before realising Cole would not return. _I must apologise and thank him the next time I see him._

* * *

After Cole had calmed down his laboured respiration, he took in his surroundings, assessing where he had teleported to in his fright. He found himself in the abandoned bedroom near his usual spot on the top floor of the tavern. Cole sometimes liked to sit in this room, for hardly anyone came to the dark, top floor of the tavern and nobody ever ventured outside of it to find the musty bedroom. He laid down on the old bed and listened to the groan of the rotting wood as it struggled to hold his weight. _I am not very heavy, not dense like Varric and not muscular like Blackwall. And yet, the bed creaks and cries in protest, wanting and wishing to be free from the burden. A burden am I, for Artemis cried out in protest also, struggling to be free of my presence_.

Cole clambered off the bed and began pacing the perimeter of the room. _I must keep my presence to a minuscule amount. When meeting is mandatory, I must push aside all thoughts about her and the glow surrounding, so there can be nothing to hurt, only heal. A blank stare cannot sting for it has no bite_.

Cole lifted his head up, his golden hair falling out of his crystal eyes, and gazed at the evening sky through a poorly patched part of the roof. _That hot heat blazing in my belly when I touched her...what does it mean? Scorching like the sun, yet wonderfully pleasant. Perhaps it is connected to the butterflies I am positive reside within me, but only let themselves be known in her presence_.

Cole opened the door connecting the rundown bedroom with the tavern and walked slowly inside, head bowed low so his face was blanketed in darkness. _I must ask Varric, he will know and give it a name. By knowing the name of these feelings, I have a title to tame them with. I must do all I can to allow her to forget me and then soon to forget Solas. Thoughts will be unthought, feelings unfelt, sentences unspoken and connections cut_.

* * *

Artemis made her way through the hall and found herself falling heavily into one of the chairs in Josephine's room. Instead of occupying the ornate and plush chair at her desk, Josie was slumped beside Artemis in the other chair. Artemis kept her eyes closed as she spoke quietly. "Hey Josie, you remember how I got this cut?"

Josephine slowly turned her head and gazed lazily at Artemis' face. "Mm, yeah," she said before immediately shutting her eyes again and breathing heavily.

Artemis raised one eyebrow and then furrowed both, the whole time not reopening her eyes. "Well, aren't you going to tell me?" She finally decided to look over at her friend after not getting a response. Josephine's breathing was slow and deep and her mouth was slightly open. "Josie! Wake up!"

Josephine jolted upright and onto her feet. After collecting herself she retook her seat and crossed her legs. "Well, while we were playing Wicked Grace, Sera proposed a half-time bet. She said she would give you half her winnings if you beat her at a game. Of course you agreed, how could you not when you were barely hanging in the game with your lack of coin. Anyhow, she said that since you are such a fine archer, she bet you could toss and catch an arrow more times than her."

During Josephine's explanation, Artemis groaned at her drunken behaviour. Now thinking completely straight, she knew for a fact that she was rather ordinary at catching things. She allowed Josephine to continue.

"But obviously, in your state, it could be concluded that your hand eye coordination was less than optimal. On your first toss you threw it too close to yourself and as it flipped the arrowhead sliced right through your cheek. Quite fortunate it didn't take your eye out." Josephine slightly giggled despite the serious implications of losing eyesight, especially for an archer.

Artemis scrunched up her face. "Urgh. Josie don't you ever allow me to drink anything more potent than medicinal tonics and potions. How are the others faring?"

"Most are up and about, albeit with a lot less enthusiasm than usual, except Vivienne and Cullen. Vivienne always presents so well, and I'm not sure Cullen ingested much alcohol at all. Bull and the Chargers are laying about the tavern with Dorian, and Sera took to the roof after strolling about in circles around midday. Oh and you should have seen Blackwall earlier covered in hay after sleeping on the stable floor." Josephine laughed at the memory.

Artemis gave a sly smirk and peered at her through half lidded eyes. "So you two spent the night in the stables, eh? On the ground?"

Josephine reddened with embarrassment as she understood what had been insinuated. "Oh Inquisitor Lavellan! How could you be so forward about such delicate matters?" She stood up, clearly flustered, yet possessing a small proud smile. "I have much work to attend to, so why not go and visit your comrades? I'm sure they would be happy in talking with you." She walked over to her desk and sat down, immediately picking up her quill and beginning to vigorously scribble away.

"Alright, I'm going." Artemis heaved herself out of the chair and walked back into the main hall. The hall felt so empty, completely void of all guests as they had no doubt returned earlier that morning, for most had a fair journey to Orlais. She noticed Cole was talking to Varric and thought it wise to leave them to their conversation. However, as she neared the pair, Cole turned around and locked eyes with her for the briefest of moments before disappearing from sight. Artemis raised an inquisitive eyebrow in Varric's direction and he shrugged nonchalantly.

With Cole gone, Artemis strolled over to Varric and sat down at the nearby table. Varric joined her, resting his feet on the tabletop, something which earned a scolding call from Vivienne high above. Artemis rubbed her temples at the loud voice, but patted Varric's leg, telling him to keep them there as it was 'her table, her rules.'

"So Moony, on a scale of one to the screech of that Hivernal, how's bad does your head hurt?" Varric gave a soft chuckle and fiddled with the cuff of his shirt.

Artemis smiled before replying. "Uh, an eleven. No, it's not too bad unless there are loud noises, which it seems there are a lot of around these parts."

"Never a dull moment in Skyhold. I bet discussion of the party will be all the rage in Orlais after those nobles get back."

Artemis once again smiled, this time a little sadly, as there was a lull in the conversation. She looked up at Varric's face which could tell as many stories as his own hands had done. "Varric?" she asked. "Was Cole talking about me just before he abruptly took off?"

Varric peered at Artemis with a look in his eyes she couldn't identify, somewhere between worry and proudness. "Yeah, the Kid seemed a bit confused."

Artemis had waited a moment for Varric to elaborate, but when it became apparent that he would not, she pressed him further. "About…" She trailed off, trying to coax the usually talkative dwarf into speaking.

"Just generally about you and last night in particular."

"Oh Maker what have I done?" She shoved her head into her hands and rubbed her face.

"What happened last night, Moony? The Kid didn't give me any details. You didn't…you know…" This time it was Varric's turn to trail off. He looked intently at the elf before him.

Artemis blushed at Varric's hint and hastily replied, waving her hands back and forth to emphasise her point. "What! Varric! No! I may not have been thinking clearly last night, but I would never take advantage of someone, especially not someone like Cole."

Varric took his legs down from the table and leant forward to get a better look at Artemis. "What do you mean 'someone like Cole'?" Varric turned his head slightly to the side, keeping eye contact signalling he was slightly wary.

Artemis was slightly taken aback by Varric's sudden defensive nature. "Well, I…I wasn't saying anything about his spirituality or humanity or anything like that, Varric. I know just as well as you that he is becoming more and more human with each passing moment and new experience. I just meant that he is…rather innocent…in that respect." Another pink dusting adorned her face as she spoke about the sensitive topic.

Varric's body language softened and Artemis exhaled a breath she had been unknowingly holding. He laughed heartily before saying anything. "Oh, because you're so well versed in the language of sex."

Artemis' eyes widened and she struggled to form sentences to defend herself with. _Who am I kidding? He's right, I'm just as inexperienced as he would be. Probably more, if that's possible. I only ever really kissed Solas before he…never mind_.

Varric continued, visibly seeing Artemis' internal struggle. "Don't sweat it Moony. Everyone was naïve once. Well, except me of course." He gave Artemis one of his trademark winks. "But anyway, I wouldn't be too concerned about our Kid's innocence or lack of knowledge on that front. You know when Cole said that Cassandra read my romance novel to him? While that's not completely true, he only overheard her reading to herself for a while, he did come to me soon after and asked about it. I decided he should probably read the whole thing and then come asking questions."

Artemis raised her eyebrows as Varric smirked to himself. "You gave him Swords and Shields?" She said incredulity.

"Don't give me that look, Moony. The Kid was going to have to find out about all that fun stuff sooner or later. Plus, somehow I think that during all his time watching people and waiting for a chance to help them, he's seen a lot of stuff that that book could put into context. And then there was that time with Candy…"

"Alright alright, thats enough." Artemis coughed slightly as her face grew ever pinker. "So did he say anything at all about last night?"

"No, not a thing. Fill me in, would you?"

Artemis laid out all the details of the events of the previous night. Throughout the retelling, Varric had a look of deep intrigue on his face, as if things were falling into place. "So you see, Varric? I had no intention of hurting Cole and then this morning I was just startled by him being right outside my door, not angry."

Varric rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, he knows that Moony. That's not what he was confused about. Look, I'm going to give you some advice. Stop worrying about hurting the Kid just because you're sad about Solas. It wasn't long ago that it was his purpose to feel and heal people's pain, and just because he has gained humanity doesn't mean he doesn't want to help. You're probably hurting him more by refusing help out of fear then if you were to let him aid. Just think about it Moony, he is only trying to help."

Varric got up and walked out of the hall, leaving a contemplative Artemis alone. He walked down the stone steps and around the courtyard, thinking about his earlier conversation with Cole. _Those feelings he described to me…he feels strongly towards Moony. This could be problematic. I'm not sure if Moony feels the same way about him and I don't want the Kid to get hurt over something so strong as love. Was it love already, or just a simple crush? Hopefully reading Swords and Shields again will help him get a better grasp. Who knew I would be using that piece of shit as a reference for real world situations, and about love no less_. Varric chuckled to himself, although it was laced with anxiety for the one who he thought of, as most like a son.

Still in the hall, Artemis sat, wondering about Varric's advice. _Perhaps he is right. Maybe if I let Cole help me, then it would get my mind off of Solas and then Cole wouldn't be feeling my pain as strongly. But how is he supposed to help me? He can't erase memories anymore and that seems the only way to forget about it. I need to think about this situation properly without getting distracted_. Artemis made her way back up to her quarters, and sat down in her chair at the desk. She tried to focus her thoughts on her feelings towards Solas. _Nothing_.

She got out of the chair and walked out to the balcony, leaning over the stone railing. Sucking in the chill winter air, she closed her eyes and once again turned her thoughts to Solas. _What makes him so damn special? He loved me that's what. But he was more than likely just playing you, right from the beginning. No, he wouldn't do that. Wouldn't he? He left you pretty quickly, remember._ She heaved and shook her head free from the warring thoughts.

She re-entered her room and peeled her clothes from her lithe frame, dropping them in a pile. Too exhausted to really care, she rejected the thought of getting into sleep attire, and instead climbed into the large bed naked. The silkiness of the linen against her skin was soothing and eased some of her weariness. Artemis closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. _Tomorrow will be a fresh start. Never mind Solas and his problems, I'm done with that man. He made his choice and left, now I will pick up the pieces and continue my duty as the Inquisitor. For the small number of days I have left with my inner circle will soon be ending and I will not let my selfish sadness taint our last moments together. They are my family and my life, and I would not trade them for even a second to have Solas back._

Artemis smiled genuinely and slipped into her slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Cole dragged his gaze from the book to look through the hole in the old bedroom's roof, only to realise he had spent the whole night reading and it was now just coming on dawn. He shut the book and left it on the bed, before walking out through the door and onto the battlements. He sat on the stone ledge and kicked his feet to a rhythm, watching as the sun clambered its way over the snowy mountaintops and stained the sky a beautiful orange. _Thunk, thunk_ , his feet hit the stone in time with his own heartbeat as he sat idly, watching the sight. He thought about what he had read in Varric's romance serial. _So close, so warm, so soft. They share intimate moments together, becoming one unit. Their hearts race with the thrill of it all, but not just because of excitement. They also thunder so loudly with love. Their feelings are not unlike those I feel when Artemis is near. So how come our encounters are so different? So much further away and far less heated. She must be feeling something different._

Cole continued his steady thudding of his feet on the wall. _Do I want to have those encounters with Artemis though? Happy, hot, hungry?_ The rhythm he tapped with his feet had subconsciously began to quicken. _Heart so full it might burst, stomach so fluttery and thoughts so hazy, yet whole body and being overcome with pleasure? Two souls so close they intertwine and become one?_ Cole's legs hit the wall so erratically that the new pain in his heels brought him back from his musings. He realised what he had been doing and took off his hat, running his hand through his straw-coloured hair.

The sun had fully risen over the mountains and the sky had changed to a dull blue with heavy clouds off in the distance that promised rain, perhaps even the first falling of snow. Cole hopped down from the wall and scooped up his hat, returning it to its usual spot before returning to the top floor of the tavern. As he passed the old bed with Varric's book atop, his mind drifted to Artemis before he caught himself. _No. She does not want that, and most of all not with you. Once she might have, with Solas, but not now. Distance is what she desires, and so she shall have it. I can help if I just stay away_. Cole sat down in the corner of the tavern and began to sharpen his daggers on a smooth stone he'd brought back from the courtyard. The blade against stone almost drowned out the light footfalls of someone coming up the lower tavern steps.

Artemis reached the second floor, but before climbing further up to visit Cole, she decided to talk with Sera. She knocked gently on Sera's door and a grunt signalled her access. Artemis pushed the door open to find Sera sprawled out on the pillowed bench under the windows, twirling an arrow around in her hand. Artemis took a seat on the floor in front of the peculiar elf and brought her braid around to her front, touching the messy twists.

Sera looked over, still twirling the arrow and frowned. "How come your hair is so messy today?"

"Just couldn't be bothered with it this morning. Don't have anywhere I'm going so I thought it only needed to be a rushed job."

Sera ceased playing with the arrow and placed it in an unnervingly large pile of assorted ones off to the side. "Well, it looks like shit and it's pissing me off. Come here so I can fix it. But you don't tell nobody about this alright, or I'm cutting it off in your sleep."

Artemis nodded slowly and surely, taking the threat seriously since it came from Sera. She shuffled around and leant against the bench Sera was sitting on. She closed her eyes as Sera untied the thin, black leather stands that wound around the end of the braid and was attached to a heavy, metal, pointed ornament, not unlike a sword pommel. These metal ornaments and leather bindings also adorned the bottom of the sections of hair which hung in front of her ears, and Sera wondered what purpose they served.

"Hey elfy?" Artemis murmured in response, prompting Sera to continue. "What's these heavy things you put in your hair? They look like you took some spiked pommels off some swords and tied some leather to it and then wove it into your hair." Sera dangled the ornament in front of her face, not aware of the fact that Artemis had her eyes closed.

"Firstly, they look nice. Secondly, they can be used as weapons." Artemis chuckled to herself at the thought of herself throwing her head around to whip a demon with one of the heavy ornaments.

Sera screwed up her face at the response. "Seems pretty useless if you ask me, but whatever keeps the arrows flying." Sera proceeded with unwinding the braid to begin anew. "Another thing. Why do you only braid half your hair? What's the deal with leaving your hair out until about your shoulders before braiding?"

Artemis sighed at the question. "Well, that's simple. I can't reach very well behind me so I pull all my hair to the front of me so I can see it and just braid from there."

Sera huffed. "Clever one you are."

The pair sat in silence as Sera carefully braided Artemis' white hair, a soothing activity for both of the elves. When Sera began to wrap the leather around the end of the braid, she spoke up. "Hey, so why did you come and see me? Bit early to be making the rounds innit?"

"I was actually on my way to talk to Cole about…" Artemis hesitated slightly. "Something. But I wasn't quite prepared, so I thought I'd drop in and see you."

"Oooh. Trouble with the spirit boy, hey? What's he done now?" Sera finished the braid and lifted it up above Artemis' head. She dropped the heavy end of it onto her head and giggled madly.

Artemis flinched when the heavy metal collided with her head and she rubbed her skull. She turned and frowned at Sera, who shrugged happily, before answering. "He hasn't done anything wrong. I was going to apologise for dwelling on the whole Solas thing which in turn hurt him."

Sera groaned and rolled her eyes. "So glad you've decided to forget about that daft egghead. I said from the beginning he wasn't right, didn't I? Never trust someone that uptight, they're always hiding something along with the pole up their ass."

Artemis grinned and laughed at Sera's antics, finally feeling cheerful since his departure. "Quite right Sera, quite right. Anyway, thanks for the hair but I think I will go apologise to Cole now. You go back to whatever it was you were doing, just try not to impale anything with any of those arrows alright?"

Sera snickered and picked up two different length arrows from the jumbled pile. She bounced them in her hands, testing their weights. "Don't be too nice to that Cole, or he might get the wrong idea."

Artemis stopped in the doorway and turned around, confused. "Huh?"

Sera stood the two arrows side by side, examining the lengths. "Don't tell me you haven't seen how he looks at you? I mean those eyes are creepy by themselves. But when he's looking at you they change somehow, and it's unnerving as hell. I think he's got it for you. Whether he knows and understands that is another thing, but just don't be too friendly, yeah, or he might think you're coming on to him. 'Cause I saw him reading that steamy serial of Varric's not long ago. I hear that book would even get the Divine all hot and bothered."

Artemis was stunned at what had come from Sera's mouth. _Cole didn't have a thing for her. That's ridiculous, I've never noticed him looking at me any different to anyone else_. "Hmm, whatever you say Sera, you crazy elf."

Sera's ears pricked up at the playful insult and she grabbed her bow lightning fast. Before Artemis had a chance to run, Sera had knocked an arrow, so she took the quickest course of defence and ducked. The arrow whizzed over her and wedged itself into the far side of the tavern, narrowly avoiding one of the redhead barmaids that Bull was so fond of. The redhead turned around and began scolding Sera. Artemis pulled herself from the cold floor and turned around to see Sera's reaction to getting told off. However all she saw was Sera's backside disappearing onto the roof, through the opened window.

Never a dull moment in Skyhold. Artemis shook her head amusedly and walked to the stairs leading up to where Cole usually stayed, prying Sera's arrow from the wooden board as she went. She examined the arrow as she climbed the steps. It was a finely crafted arrow, silver and engraved with Elven script which she could not read. She was so focused on the arrow that she forgot that the final step was slightly higher than the others. Her bare foot clipped the edge of the step and she hurtled forward, landing heavily on her knees.

Cole was startled at the loud thud and looked over to see Artemis on her hands and knees at the tops of the stairs. He rushed up and paced to her side as she was rising. She stood at full height, a decent amount shorter than Cole, and smoothed out her long dress which reached just above her ankles. She often wore elven dresses like this one when she was just around Skyhold and Cole always thought they gave her a regal appearance.

By the time she had finished brushing her skirt clean and faced Cole, the blush of embarrassment had still not disappeared. She dipped her head shyly and turned the troublesome arrow around in her hand while she spoke softly. "Well…that was embarrassing. Sorry."

Cole tilted his head at her and furrowed his brows. "Sorry for what?"

Artemis looked up, confused. "For, you know, falling. And making a fool out of myself. And startling you."

Cole kept his head tilted. "Tripping is nothing to be sorry about, and you are far from foolish."

Artemis peered at him as he spoke, looking deep into his eyes, trying to find whatever Sera had apparently seen. _They look like they always do_.

Cole pointed down to the arrow. "Why do you have that?"

Artemis held it out towards Cole, offering him to take it. "Sera shot it at me," she explained as Cole gently took it from her.

Cole's head snapped up at her words and his clear blue eyes darted over her body, scanning for injury. He suddenly disappeared and she felt his presence behind her. She knew he was still looking for signs of injury, so she turned around abruptly and softly grasped his shoulders. "It's fine Cole, I ducked." Artemis chuckled softly to reassure him further.

His eyes bore into hers, flicking between her green left one and blue right one, seemingly unable to move. "Cole?" she breathed. He blinked twice rapidly, his paralysis apparently broken, and stepped backwards, shrugging her hands off his shoulders. _I must stay away from her._ He walked around her, keeping a distance, and made his way back to his usual corner. He leant against the wall and dipped his head low so his large hat obscured his face in shadow.

Artemis watched him, a part of her wounded at his cold behaviour. She followed him, worry etched onto her face. "Cole?" she asked again.

Cole did not move, did not even raise his head so she could see his face. "Yes, Inquisitor?"

Artemis stopped suddenly in her tracks hearing his formal address. _He never calls me that anymore. What have I done?_ She decided to fulfil the reason she came to him in the first place. "I wanted to thank you for everything you did the other night. I am truely grateful despite how I treated you."

Cole only mumbled as he picked up his dagger he had cast aside in his haste to her side. "Ok." Artemis felt as though Cole had sunk that dagger into her heart as she processed his response, or lack of one. _Why is he being so distant? This is all my fault. How could I be so selfish so as to hurt others around me? And why is this bothering me more than what it should? Why am I suddenly so worried about what Cole thinks of me?_

Tears welled in her eyes despite her scolding herself at her pettiness. "Cole, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for causing you pain as a result of my own selfish feelings. You needn't worry about me anymore because I realised that the hole Solas left, only leaves more room for the rest of you guys, my family. But if I have caused irreparable damage to our friendship, than I am deeply ashamed of myself." She waited for a response she was unsure he would give.

She was more heartbroken then she would be eager to admit that he did not even acknowledge her apology. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and turned to leave. She slowly began making her way to the stairs and was halfway when she felt her hand being grabbed. Her heart leapt into her throat and quickened its pace dramatically.

Cole gently pulled her hand, turning Artemis around to face him. His eyes were glassy, tears threatening to spill over, but he blinked them back. He silently took a deep breath, calming himself, before he moved closer and wrapped his lean arms around her.

Artemis stiffened at the sudden contact, but, overwhelmed to have the old Cole back, she encircled his torso and hugged him tightly. She lowered her head onto his shoulder, teardrops falling onto his patchwork tunic before being absorbed and only leaving dark stains. Cole brought his hand up to the back of her head, softly burying his long fingers in her hair. _So soft, just like I imagined._

He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "Apology is accepted even though you never hurt me with your pain. And please do not be ashamed of yourself for any reason, especially not on my behalf."

Artemis continued sobbing into his shoulder while he spoke, feeling undeserving of his compassion. "I'm so sorry Cole," her voice hitched as she spoke.

"Stop being sorry. I should be sorry. Pain so loud, darkness overpowering the glow. I should have been able to fix it but I could not. I am too human to help, not spirit enough. I made the wrong decision, and now I cannot help those who I care about the most."

"Don't you ever say that Cole. It was not your responsibility to stop my suffering. You are perfect just as you are and don't go thinking otherwise." Artemis had stopped crying but kept her head still. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of Cole's body. _He smells so wonderful, like honey and milk_.

"I am a spirit of compassion. It is my responsibility, it is my purpose. Of what use am I if I cannot even fulfil this purpose?"

At this, Artemis drew back from the embrace, regretting the coldness that rushed between them. A wave of crushing loneliness struck her and she found herself wanting to be back in his arms. _Why does this feel different to any other hug?_ She squeezed his shoulders as she had not long before, and locked her eyes to his. "You _were_ a spirit of compassion. Now you are Cole. A separate entity, your own being. Your purpose is whatever you make it. Please, please don't belittle yourself. You are free to pursue anything, to carry out any action no matter how absurd it may seem."

Cole lowered his eyes away from her piercing gaze. _Free to carry out any action no matter how absurd?_ A tiny part of him was thankful that she was no longer in his embrace, for she would have certainly felt his heart thundering in his chest and heard the beating of the butterflies' wings in his stomach. He looked back up to Artemis, to her perfect pale face and those two striking eyes, and suddenly a scene from Varric's book jumped to the forefront of his mind. _I want to hold her face so gently like he did. I wish to carefully bring her closer like he did, so close I can hear her breathing softly. Those full lips, I want, I need to touch them like he did._

Cole tentatively raised a hand to place it on her smooth cheek which warmed under his touch.

"Hey Boss! Cassandra wants to talk to us! Haul ass, she ain't happy!" Bull's voice was so loud and sudden, Artemis jumped violently and Cole was gone in an instant.

Artemis sighed and descended the stairs quickly. _I hope Cole's ok. He seems despondent for some reason. He seems uncertain of his purpose. Sitting idle for days on end since Corypheus was defeated can't be helping. He needs to find something he loves to reignite the spark in his existence. Maker, I beg you, watch over him and keep him safe_.

I gathered with the rest of my inner circle in front of my advisors and next to Cassandra. I spied Cole out of the corner of my eye, looking down at his feet and adjusting his tunic. I returned my attention to Cassandra. "What's happened?"

Cassandra knotted her brows and spoke in a tone of both annoyance and anxiety. "An enormous rift has just been discovered and the Veil is extremely weak in the surrounding area."


	4. Chapter 4

Their quest was a simple one, done many times before, get in and seal the rift. Only this time, by Leliana's sources, this rift was larger than those often encountered on their journeys across Thedas. Cassandra had advised against taking a slightly larger party than the usual and so, Artemis stood in front of her band of merry men, deciding who would tag along.

 _Cole needs to get out of Skyhold, maybe this journey will help him realise his worth. Sera is probably itching to shoot something so she can come along also. One mage should be enough, Dorian, because Vivienne more than likely has business to attend to. That leaves Sera and I holding the rear, Dorian off to the side and Cole by himself on the front line. Better bring Bull along so Cole has some company, he and Blackwall aren't as close as he and Bull._

"Alright everybody, listen up. Cole and Bull you will be my front line fighters, get all up in their faces like I know you do. Dorian you're my man with the magic touch, and Sera, you and I will take the high ground. The rest of you have the day off, but don't get used to it." Artemis chuckled to herself, her comment earning her grins from most of those in front of her. "Any objections?"

Her inner circle all gave responses of agreement in her choices, before disbanding to gather armour and weapons, or to find some way to occupy their free day. Artemis jogged up to her quarters and made her way to the chest where she kept her armour. She pulled on her brown leggings and clasped her deep green, ornate metal bodice. Pulling on her tall leather boots as she went, she walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky. While it was cold, running across the land and engaging in battles would keep their body temperature high enough to negate the chilly winter air. However, there were heavy, grey clouds hanging around lazily which could bring a falling of snow. She returned inside and grabbed her long hooded cloak from the chest before slamming it closed.

She made her way down to the undercroft to collect her repaired bow from Harritt and Dagna. She ran her hands along the newly polished metal, following its graceful curves and newly wrapped grip. "Thanks you two, it looks just as beautiful as ever. Almost as good as the day it was crafted, with this shine."

"Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to work with your bow?" Harritt had a slight hint of frustration in his voice as he walked towards Artemis. "The fact that it has two seperate pieces making up each limb of the bow makes for twice the work. And two different types of metal adds even more time."

Dagna pushed in front of the annoyed Harritt. "But look at how intricate and unique the bow is. It's breathtaking. Next time, Inquisitor, leave it with me and you will never hear any grumbling about the hard work it takes to work on a piece of this calibre." She smiled brightly up at the elf, before realising something and hurrying off to her workbench. "Come over here a sec if you don't mind."

Artemis walked over to the dwarf just as she turned around holding something made of a dark metal. Dagna held it out for her to take, and she turned it around in her hand, admiring the handiwork. It was a black guard for her forearm to protect against the fletching of her arrows. It had two black leather buckles to fasten it and on the plating there were delicately engraved dwarven runes. She brushed her fingers over the carvings as Dagna spoke. "When you brought your bow in the other day I couldn't help but notice the poor shape your guard was in so I worked on another one for you while Harritt struggled with the weapon." She chuckled in her usual chipper manner. "I would have engraved something elven but unfortunately I'm not too good with your language. I hope you don't mind the runes."

Artemis patted her on the shoulder comfortingly. "Not at all Dagna, this is beautiful. Thank you so much."

"Anything for you, Inquisitor," Dagna called as Artemis left the room to finish preparing for the long trek ahead. She went to check on Master Dennet and the mounts, making sure they were properly fed and watered, as well as setting up for a special mount for their qunari who was rarely found atop one. While at the stables, Artemis' mind wandered to Cole and she grew concerned about his strange behaviour of late. She decided she would ask Varric to come along on the trip also, to keep and eye out for Cole in case he needed a close friend.

Artemis met Sera and Bull on the way back to the main hall and told them to wait by the stables as they would be departing very shortly. She climbed the stairs hurriedly and found Varric shrugging a heavy coat on. "Varric, would you mind coming along with us? I'm a little worried about Cole and I think he would like having you by his side."

Varric laughed as he approached her. "Of course not, Moony. In fact, I had guessed you would ask this of me. See, got my coat on already. Now let's get going, Bianca needs some fresh air." He bent down and reached under the wooden table he usually sat at and withdrew his crossbow. She raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head dismissively before leaving the hall together.

Returning once again to the stables, everyone had gathered. Sera was in her usual getup, only this time she had on a pair of heavy boots and a tattered jacket that was a few sizes too big, ready for any harsh weather. The others were clearly expecting the worst from the weather as she had been, as Dorian had an extra layer of thick cloth folded around his robes, and Cole had even more buckles than usual in an attempt to protect his skin from the coming wind. He was also wearing his more stiff brimmed hat to fend of rain and snow. Even Bull was wearing a patchwork coat with thick crude stitching holding it together.

Artemis gave a lopsided smirk as she looked at the qunari. "Where did that thing come from Bull?" She pointed at the coat which had one sleeve noticeably shorter than the other.

Bull sighed and tilted his head towards a grinning Sera. "She made it for me because she thought qunari got cold during the winter. And now she's forcing me to wear it because she swears it's going to snow."

Sera punched him in the arm before jabbing at the sky. "Look you big oaf. Those are snowing clouds, I'm telling you. You won't be whinging when we are trudging through snow, you wait."

Bull simply scoffed and turned his attention back to Artemis. "So, shall we start walking?"

"Walking?" Artemis replied confused. "Bull, why do you think we are at the stables?"

The whole group turned to Bull, awaiting his response, wondering what was going through his head. He rubbed his face, a frown forming in his brow. "Well I was wondering about that, but I just assumed it was a meeting place. We obviously aren't taking mounts because there is no way I'm fitting on any of those scrawny harts."

Now the whole group turned to Artemis, seeing logic in the Bull's argument. She plastered a mischievous grin on her face and rubbed her hands together. She spoke as she walked towards the stables, clapping Bull on the shoulder as she passed him. "Oh don't you worry, my big horned friend. I acquired a special something for you to ride." She giggled quietly to herself at the thought of his very own 'steed'.

First she led out three different horses into the yard. "Cole, Sera and Varric, these are yours. Varric gets the white one because it's a little shorter, but you pair can fight over the other two." She smiled as she watched Sera climb immediately onto the black horse, claiming it as her own without even discussing it with Cole. She shook her head humorously as she went back into the stables. Leading out her own hart and another for Dorian. "Thought you might want something with a bit more style than a simple horse, Dorian. So she's yours." The mage stood beside the hart, stroking her neck softly.

Bull had grown impatient. "Come on, Boss. What have you got hidden away in there for me? So far all of these will grow weary before long lugging me around."

Artemis hushed him as she disappeared once again and emerged with his mount. Upon seeing the animal, Sera burst out in a fit of laughter and the others looked incredulously between the mount and a very still Iron Bull.

Bull thrust his arm forward and tilted his head. "And what the hell is this thing?"

Artemis led the nuggalope over to Bull and patted it on the head. She looked up to the qunari who was glaring at the beast. "It's a Battle Nug, Bull. And he's yours. Was a struggle to find might I add, but he should be able to carry you with relative ease. I mean look at those stocky legs."

Bull looked the large beast over a few times before resigning himself. "It will do, if you insist on taking mounts. What's it's name?"

She turned away from him and strode over to her lavender coloured hart. "Brand new, didn't come with one. You get that honour." She threw her leg over the hart's back and sank into the soft fur.

With this Bull seemed to brighten a bit, standing a little taller. "I will think about it on the way," he stated before climbing atop the nuggalope.

"Alright everyone, let's be on our way, shall we?" Artemis trotted her hart towards the large entrance gates as Cole and Dorian sat atop their mounts. She turned around to make sure everyone was following her, only to see Varric getting a slight run up before launching himself over the horse. He wiggled around, getting his legs on either side and fixing the crossbow's position on his back, before taking the reins and leading the horse towards her. She turned back around, amused at his technique, before signalling the guards to open the gates. The group rode out and began their descent down the mountain and in the direction of where Cullen had informed them the rift was located.

Artemis looked up to the skies, checking the sun and the heavy clouds. The direction they were travelling was towards the dark clouds, rain was bound to meet them within the hour, and judging by the elevation of the almost obscured sun, it was mid afternoon. They hadn't stopped since they had left and a low grumble made Artemis shift in discomfort. She scanned the area, taking in her surroundings despite them being mostly unchanged since the last time she had assessed. A sluggish stream to her left wound its way through the lush grass that stretched on for as far as the eye could see. To her right she could vaguely make out the cliff face, so steep it would stop anything from climbing it and would bring a permanent stop to anything descending it. She spotted a ram off to the side, drinking from the stream, and other a short distance away, and her ears pricked.

"Anyone else getting hungry, or just me?" She turned around to look at her comrades as they answered.

Sera spoke up first, "Maker, yes! Was beginning to think you'd never a-"

She was abruptly cut off by Bull's booming voice. "I was just about to start eating this beast I'm riding on! Everyone says nugs taste delicious." He then leant over, bringing his arms around the nuggalope's thick neck, rubbing his face against it. "But I would never do that to Sir Nuggington, no I wouldn't." The whole party turned, astonished, to Bull as his voice had raised an octave and he spoke in a manner similar to how a mother talks to a baby.

Dorian sighed in mock disgust before stating, "I have never been less attracted to you then I am right now, Bull."

Artemis smirked and knocked not one, but two arrows quickly. She tilted the bow sideways, leaning her head along with it. "Who wants to bet that I can't get both these rams in one shot?"

Sera snorted. "Ha, looking at that cut still on your face, I'm gunna say no way you can."

Cole who had been quiet most of the way, finally piped up. "You can do that, easy. You shouldn't doubt her Sera."

Sera rolled her eyes at the young man and knocked an arrow herself. "Whatever. I have a shot lined up for the far one for when you inevitably miss. Now hurry along, I'm starved."

Artemis' cheeks had warmed at the encouraging words Cole had offered, and inhaled deeply, steadying her hands. She glanced at a tree checking the wind direction and speed, before letting both arrows loose. She watched as both rams fell to the ground bleating in distress, before falling silent.

Artemis turned back to the party, looking incredibly proud and stuck out her tongue at the elf who was making a fuss about putting her arrow back in its quiver. Sera gave an obscene gesture in response before dismounting and starting off towards the rams.

Cole watched as Artemis had smiled at her accomplishment, and could not prevent the heat in his abdomen from rising. _She looks so beautiful when she smiles_. He too got down from his horse and followed Sera and Artemis to their game while the others gathered sticks and kindling and set up a fire. He caught up to the two elves, falling into stride beside Artemis, and bowed his head as the heat in his abdomen spread to his cheeks at the closeness of her body. He could smell a delicate floral scent emanating from her and he wondered whether she bathed in water filled with flowers. _I must stop thinking about her like that, she would be disgusted._

Artemis and Cole observed the closest ram while Sera went on ahead to get the other. Artemis bent down and rested her head against the animals side, checking if it was still breathing. She noticed the shallow rising and falling, and grabbed one of her long knives from their resting place strapped to her lower back. Cole watched silently as she offered a prayer for the animal before slicing its wool covered throat. _She is so gentle to all forms of life. I want her to be like that with me._ He softly shook his head and continued to watch her graceful movements as she gently dislodged the arrow from the ram's neck.

The quiet was interrupted by Sera's disbelieving exclamation. "Oi, you, bow master. You got this thing right through the head. Come and have a look."

Artemis began walking over to the other elf, looking back to motion that Cole should follow. When they reached the spot where the ram had fallen, she looked down to see her arrow had gone right through the animal's eye and out the other side. She turned it's head, only to find the arrow had pierced the other eye as well.

"Wow. Didn't think I was that good of a shot. Did you check the breathing, even though I highly doubt it would survive that?"

"Yeah," Sera replied, placing one foot on the ram's neck. "Bugger is well dead." She roughly grabbed the arrow end and wrenched it out of it's head, shaking off bits of innards that were most likely brain and eyeballs. She handed it back to Artemis who grimaced slightly at Sera's insensitive ways, before returning it to her quiver.

Sera grabbed the hind legs of the ram and began dragging it back towards the fire which Dorian had easily set aflame. When they reached the other ram, Artemis went to bend down and get a hold of the animal, but was surprised to find Cole heaving it from the ground before she could. She smiled her thanks to him and he looked off into the distance, not meeting her eyes. _He has been avoiding my eye ever since this morning. I'd assumed that hug was a sign that he was coming around, getting back to his old self again, but now this. What's got into him, it's worrying._

They brought the beasts over to Bull who swiftly detached the heads with a solid swing of his great axe. The whole party was seated around the comforting warmth of the fire as Cole began skinning the first beast.

Dorian heaved at the smell and sight, looking away and scrunching up his nose. "No matter how many times we do this, it never gets any easier to stomach."

Bull laughed at the man and clapped him over the shoulder. "Just be glad you're not the one doing it, pretty boy. Hey, Boss? Toss me one of your long knives would you. Let's get this meat cooking."

Artemis handed him one of her knives and before long they had handfuls of roasted mutton. They all stuffed themselves, etiquette be damned. They were all close here, and Vivienne was not present so there was no judgement from any of the others.

The first spits of rain fell just as Bull and Varric were finishing the final pieces of ram. Dorian groaned as he stood and unwrapped the extra cloth from his body. He then mounted his hart and pulled the heavy material over his head and around his shoulders, shielding his face from the steadily increasing rain. He sat there, completely still as if waiting for something.

After a few moments he was fidgeting irritably and he spoke with a tone of urgency. "Well come on. Let's keep going and maybe find some shelter before nightfall. I am, after all, primarily a fire mage, and thus I don't like the wet."

The rest of the group rose, Varric kicking what was left of the fire out and remounted. They set off, this time a little more huddled together as a precaution against the declining visibility. Artemis had pulled the hood up on her cloak and Sera was looking smug as Bull hung her handmade coat from his horns to keep the rain from his eyes.

The Inquisitor and Cole were at the forefront of the pack and she glanced over at him, watching as he brought his thick scarf closer to neck and dipped his chin down, nuzzling into the soft wool. _Maker, he looks adorable like that._ She snapped her head back to the front as Cole glanced sideways. _Why? I've never thought about him like this before, so why now?_ She thought back retrospectively as she rode onwards, giving an encouraging pat to her hart. _I suppose I did always find something oddly attractive about the mysterious spirit boy, it was just buried under all the thoughts about Solas. I always enjoyed the time we spent together, it was just a rare occasion compared to those encounters between Solas and I._ She stole another glance at Cole who was affectionately scratching his horse's ears. _But now that he is gone, there is nothing to mask the feelings for my other close friends, no distractions._

 _Sera is my best friend, Maker she's a laugh._

 _Vivienne always knows how to posture herself, I should start taking notes._

 _Blackwall is fiercely loyal, something which I respect greatly about the man._

 _Cassandra is my wall, her strength holds me up when I am weak._

 _Cullen, Josie and Leliana, my trusted advisors, they are the backbone of the Inquisition._

 _The Iron Bull and his Chargers make up the might of this company, lending their power for the people. Somehow I don't think Bull is too worried about his pay anymore._

 _Dorian, the loveable preener, full of determination and flair, his presence always missed when not around._

 _Varric, the one whose words carry a weight larger than life and always lending an ear to those in need._

 _And Cole…what is he to me? A trusted friend of course…but he is more than that. He's the one that is overlooked, the most undervalued by others. But he is the giddiness in my gut that I never felt with Solas, the pink in my cheeks whenever he brushes against me. He's the shoulder I cried on_.

Artemis sneezed, the rain finding its way through her cloak and chilling her. The sky had grown dark with the evening and night would soon fall. She spotted an opening in the cliff face up ahead and signalled to the others that they would shelter there for the night. Reaching the cave, they led their animals inside, leaving them closest to the mouth. Dorian lit a fire and everyone shed their top layers, laying them out to dry. None of them talked much, instead falling exhausted onto their scant bedding, most falling asleep quickly.

Artemis lay on her back, looking up at the flickering glow of the fire on the roof of the cave. _Cole. I've been ignoring my feelings towards you for all this time. Where Solas was the intriguing first love which burned bright but burned fast, you have been the slow burning love, creeping into my heart without any warning_. She closed her eyes, drifting into the haziness of sleep. _And now I fear I am caught up in something which can never bear fruit. Caught up in an unrequited love_.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Wow, all I can say is I'm sorry. So, so sorry. Funny how life always finds a way to interrupt everything. But no excuses this time, and for anyone still interested in this not very good story, here is your long awaited chapter. Boy I feel terrible, and this shorter than normal part makes me feel worse but I just wanted to give you something at least... So enjoy, or don't...I completely understand.

* * *

Unable to sleep soundly, Artemis awoke to the hazy glow of the campfire which was still blazing with the same intensity as when it had been lit by the Tevinter mage. She stared into the fire and thought about those people rumored to be able to find fortunes within the licking flames. She sighed and peered around her group of fellow travellers smiling to herself as she saw them sleeping soundly as she could not. Dorian was curled up in his bundle of cloth with Bull not far away, no doubt trying to steal some of the mage's warmth for his own. The harsh Ferelden winter was not a pleasant season for stubborn qunari. Sera was laying on her stomach with her hands tucked under herself and her ragged coat draped over her body, while Cole was on his back perfectly straight and unmoving. Artemis thought to herself that he mustn't be fully used to or conformable with the concept of sleeping yet. She quietly chuckled to herself before realising that she hasn't spotted Varric yet and began searching for him, her heart rate slightly elevated in mild panic. She came across him standing at the mouth of the cave however and sighed in relief before slowly rising to join him.

"Couldn't sleep either Varric?" Artemis queried softly.

"Nah," he offered before letting out a sizable breath he'd been holding. "Haven't really had a full night's rest since Kirkwall…" He trailed off.

"I'm sorry Varric. It must have been awful." Artemis bowed her head in respect, thinking about all those lives lost in the horrific events at Kirkwall.

Varric simply let out a small grunt of affirmation before leaning against the rocky side of the cave, finally pulling his eyes away from the steady rain to look at the elf. "What's got you tossing and turning though Moony?"

Artemis looked out to the darkened plain they had been riding through the day before, wondering what exactly was the cause of her insomnia. "I'm not sure Varric, this whole thing with Solas-"

She was cut off by Varric's small yet strong hand grasping her arm. "What have I told you about Chuckles? He was a fool and there is no room in your life for fools. You're too young and pretty." He laughed earnestly, meaning every word he spoke.

"I know Varric. I've put him past me. But that whole experience has just got me thinking. Can love born from dark times like this really last? Take Dorian and Bull for example, what they have is more than a simple tryst, but soon Dorian will be travelling back to Tevinter and I am not sure he would allow Bull to go with him even if he wanted to. So my worry is this, how can they possibly make what they have work. Surely it is bound to end in heartache, is it not?"

Varric smiled sadly at Artemis before speaking. "Oh Moony, you and your big heart always worrying about others. Haven't you heard of the great romance of the last Blight?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow in Varric's direction, "I'm Dalish remember, I haven't heard of many things regarding humans."

"Well I'm sure you have heard of Ferelden's great King Alistair and his dear wife Queen Elissa."

Artemis nodded her head in approval, recalling the pair's personal appearance after the mess of Corypheus had subsided. She remembered how the King had gazed with pure adoration at his red-headed wife while she addressed the people, as if she was the only one in his presence in all of Thedas. Artemis smiled to herself as her heart sang with bliss just thinking about the love shared between the two.

"Well you don't think those two were always that lovey do you? Queen Elissa was once a noble stripped of her title when an arl murdered her parents. She was then recruited into the Grey Wardens and it was there that she stumbled into a young Warden by the name of Alistair. Soon they were the only two Grey Wardens left in Ferelden and together, along with the help of their trusty companions not unlike myself, they raised an army of allies with factions who once warred, to defeat the archdemon and end the Blight. It wasn't long before the two grew closer and one night, in the solitude of camp, Alistair gave her a single rose, picked in a small town which no longer stands. Elissa initially didn't think much of it, instead using her wit to play off of Alistair's sarcasm. But as the conversation drew on, it became apparent that this was no mere gift, but rather an offering of his affection. It was that night that the pair admitted their feelings and began their lasting relationship."

Artemis' heart had melted by the time Varric had finished the story and she was grinning from ear to ear. "Oh Varric, that story is beautiful. But surely it wasn't all roses and instant love? I mean it was the Blight after all. Did they not face being permanently separated by death on a daily basis? How did they cope with that thought?"

Varric laughed before replying. "Of course they had that fear. But they did not allow it to occupy their thoughts. Those around them expressed their worry that their relationship was bound to end in tragedy, but there pair took each day as it came and faced the challenges together. There was not a moment when the Warden did not have Alistair at her side."

"Thank-you for sharing this tale with me Varric. I suppose the King and Queen stand as a testament to love and how it can bloom even in the darkest of hours." Artemis' thoughts turned to Cole. "I'm sure Bull and Dorian with be fine." Despite the fact that she spoke of the qunari and Tevinter, her mind was focused on calculating how plausible it would be that her and Cole could share something similar. _Don't be ridiculous Artemis, you're getting way ahead of yourself. There poor boy doesn't even harbour any feelings towards you_.

Varric piped up once again, his mind seemingly still on the same track. "Sometimes I think that bad times are when love shows itself the most in fact. Look at Hawke for instance. She told me she had to practically chain Fenris to a chair to stop him coming with her."

Artemis stopped for a moment, trying to follow just how Varric's statement fit in with their discussion. Unable to see the connection, she asked, "I don't understand how tying someone to a chair and finding love in hardship fit in the same category Varric."

"Maker, I keep forgetting you never knew Hawke. She couldn't allow him to come with her because that stupid elf would lay down his life if danger so much as glanced in her general direction." Artemis nodded slowly in approval before Varric sighed. "My point is Moony, stop worrying about how things will end and just enjoy it while you can. Bull and Dorian will be fine. Blackwall and Josie will be fine and hell, you and Cole, _will be fine_."

Varric emphasised that last few words to make his point outstanding clear to the elf, but all this garnered was the reddening of her cheeks. Stumbling over her words, Artemis finally managed to string a few together, "what are you talking about Master Tethras?"

Varric simply rolled his eyes and turned away from the entrance of the cave. "Let's just say you've got at least one person rooting for you and leave it at that. I'm suddenly very sleepy." He yawned dramatically and made his way back to his bedroll, leaving a highly embarrassed Inquisitor standing alone.

Artemis covered her burning face with her arms and squatted down on her haunches, trying to curl up as tight as she could in an impossible hope that she would implode and cease to exist. _Am I really that obvious? Am I wearing my heart on my sleeve? Oh why am I so awkward when it comes to romance, I may as well just confess my love in the middle of Val Royeaux it seems…Tomorrow I shall be extra careful not to draw attention to myself, especially when around Cole. In fact, I will stay completely away from him and rather spend the entire day at Sera's side. Yes, that should work at quelling any further suspicions_.

Cole understood that eavesdropping on the conversation was wrong, but he had become too invested in Alistair and Elissa's romance to stop. Upon hearing the part about Alistair's rose, he wondered whether he should acquire a gift for the Inquisitor. _What could I possibly hope to give to her that would be adequate enough for a woman of her standing?_

Losing himself in his thoughts, he was suddenly brought back to reality when Varric spoke his name _. What had Varric said? 'You and Cole will be fine'... What does he mean, the words he speaks, confusing, confounding_.

Cole watched as the Inquisitor stuttered for a moment, seemingly flustered at the dwarf's comment, before finally choking out an objecting query. Varric's answer was one of full support for Artemis before he hastily left her side. Cole had become more confused than ever as he saw the elf curl up, burying her face, trying to figure out the meaning behind Varric's words. _Could Varric have been implying that he knows of the Inquisitor's feelings towards me? Does he think that she harbors feelings that are more than friendship? Could she?_

A tiny spark of hope ignited within Cole and he turned his attention to Artemis who was still hunched down. He frowned at her actions. _No. These are not the actions of one experiencing the joy of love which Varric's tales express so vigorously, so vibrantly. She is recoiling in disgust at the implication of her feeling anything more than mere tolerance for me._

Cole's straight position on his bedroll suddenly became uncomfortable for the young man, and he shifted uneasily, laying on his side as he let his yellow bangs cover his face. He expelled a disappointed breath and scolded himself for being so ignorant of human emotions, but that tiny flame which the dwarf had kindled could not be extinguished _. I will observe her behavior tomorrow to make sure I am correct in assuming that I am rightfully a fool. Only then will my heart be sated and I can be free of these complicated feelings and experiences which are proving to be problematic_.

Cole heard a soft noise and realised Artemis was crawling onto her sleeping mat, and he gazed at her as the firelight made her glow more than normal. She rested her head down and the pair locked eyes over the sleeping form of Sera, the warm lighting glinting off her two coloured irises. Artemis gave a sad look before lowering her eyes and rolling over to face the opposite direction. Cole squeezed his eyes tight as that flame inside him wavered slightly.

 _Tomorrow will bring with it an end. Please let it be sunny, for everything falls to tomorrow._


	6. Chapter 6

Artemis was jolted awake as she felt herself being dragged off her bedroll and across the cold cavern ground. She squirmed, trying to rid herself of whatever had caught her, but the grasp on her ankle was strong. Just then, a voice too loud and low to be enjoyed at this time of morning sliced through the cold air. "Rise and shine Boss. Well, rise at least, we've a big day ahead of us. You know, rips and drapes and stuff."

Dorian's scoffing remark followed quickly, "they're rifts, Bull. And it's the Veil, not some gaudy Orlesian window coverings. Now let the Inquisitor go."

Artemis' leg was dropped and she rose to her feet slowly, rubbing her eyes and taking in her surroundings. The rest of the camp was up and sitting around the fire, occupied by a variety of tasks. Varric was crafting some caltrop traps from various things he'd gathered the day before and Sera was checking the consistency of some of her poisons. Cole was checking the weight and balance of his knives and daggers, tossing a few into the air much to the anxiety of the others, before buckling them in various places over his body.

Artemis returned to her sleeping mat and gathered her things, retying them together messily. "Right, well we'd better get a move on. We have to try and get this thing closed as quickly as we can before anything nasty comes through. Sera, what's the weather doing outside?"

Sera snorted and the Inquisitor turned around to face her, wondering why her question had garnered such a response. Before she had the chance to say anything however, her gaze was drawn past the group and out the mouth of the cave. The morning was a mixture of different shades of grey, and there was a light dusting of snow covering the ground. She strode to the opening and leant out, looking around. She felt the cool caress of snowflakes across her face, blinking them out of her eyes before sneezing. Her nose began to itch so she withdrew herself and faced the group, donning an awkward expression. "Who cares if it's snowing…right?"

She was met with grumbles from her companions, wordless objections to the idea of travelling through snowy and windy weather. She sighed, not particularly looking forward to the day's journey ahead, but with any luck, she figured they could be there before nightfall. "Come on guys, it's only barely snowing. Think of it as an adventure. It'll be fun."

Sera tapped her finger to her chin as she spoke. "Hmm, those are the exact words you said before we trudged through that tunnel full of deepstalkers on the coast. Shall I remind you how much fun we didn't have that day?"

Varric laughed heartily, eyeing one of his finished traps. "Boy am I glad I wasn't with you that day Moony. Deepstalkers are creepy…"

Artemis hushed the group before convincing them to gather their things and mount up. They ventured out of the cave as the trail of smoke from the exhausted fire drifted up and merged with the grey sky above. As planned the night before, Artemis stayed by Sera's side, chatting with the elf about their various trips across Ferelden. Cole had began the morning behind the elven pair, but before long he slowed down and fell into stride with Varric's smaller horse. Varric picked up on the boy's air of sadness and wondered what was playing on his mind.

"What's up Kid? Not a fan of snow?"

Cole didn't turn his head to look at the dwarf while he spoke, rather keeping his eyes trained on the elf in front of him, but emotionless and unseeing. "The snow, cold yet calming. So pale, pristine, perfect. Each snowflake is unique, perfect in every sense of the word. I like the snow." _Her hair which is so long and so white flows behind her like a blanket of snow itself. Each individual speck is lost in it's depths, encompassed by the silken threads._

"Then why the gloomy face? Cheer up before I start thinking I'm back in Kirkwall with that broody elf." Varric rolled his eyes, remembering how Hawke just had to bring Fenris along every time they went anywhere.

Cole looked around him before turning to Varric and lowering his voice, barely above a whisper. "What did you mean last night?"

Varric bright smile turned slightly skewed before answering. "What do you mean last night? I don't think I said anything particularly interesting."

Cole furrowed his eyebrows, frowning at the difficult dwarf. "When you were with the Inquisitor, telling her about the King's rose." There was no hesitation in the young man's voice, instead it was direct and simple, quite contrary to most of his other expressions.

The smile had completely disappeared from Varric's face only to be replaced with a look of concern. He too lowered his voice and removed one hand from his horse to clasp Cole's arm. "Look Kid, I know how you feel about her, you told me everything I needed to know. I also know exactly what Moony is feeling, but you have to trust me when I tell you this, no matter how much you might disagree. I'm sorry Kid, but I can't help you any more than I already have."

Cole tilted his head slightly and opened his mouth to object, but was cut off by Varric raising his hand. "This emotion that you're experiencing, most likely for the first time, is something incredibly pure and delicate, not something to be trifled with by an outsider. I've had my fair share of time feeling the way you do now and just like you I wanted to ask someone wiser what the hell I should be doing. But looking back I realise that everything I was told to do and say and feel was just bullshit spun by people who were just as inexperienced as me. Relationships between two people are unique and no one can tell you what to expect or what will work because they simply cannot know."

Throughout Varric's lecture, Cole listened intently, absorbing every word in an earnest attempt to gain some understanding about the state he was in. By the end he was just as in the dark as he was when he first felt his gut tie itself in knots. Despite this, he understood what Varric was saying overall and he nodded his head. "Thanks Varric," he replied simply.

"Just follow your heart, Kid. That's all anyone can ever do in this world."

Cole looked up at the grey sky, letting the snowflakes get caught in his long eyelashes. _Follow my heart? How am I supposed to do that when it cannot speak to me?_ He stretched his neck down, putting his ear as close to his chest as he could. _It does nothing except beat in a steady rhythm._ Sighing heavily and returning his gaze to the elves ahead of him, he concluded that he would take another look in Varric's book to see if there was any mention about how to follow a heart.

* * *

The party stopped for lunch when the snow stopped around mid morning. The morning's bad weather had driven most of the larger beasts off into shelter, and all that was caught was a couple of foxes. With the biting wind at their backs and the bleak conditions ahead of them, they mostly ate in silence, only the occasional sarcastic remark chased by a witty quip. Artemis had barely spoken two words to Cole the whole day, and this dampened his spirit even further. The spark inside him was in perilous danger of blowing out.

By midday the snow had resumed its steady falling and with a check of their map they guessed they were no more than a quarter hour from a small village and from there, a little over two hours until they reached the area Cassandra had marked the rift as being. A small time later they had begrudgingly left their mounts with the village's quartermaster, along with a sack of coin, and set out on foot in the increasingly deepening snow.

"Remind me again why we left the perfectly good coin with that grisly quartermaster? Oh yeah, and the horses too?" Sera was stomping along beside Artemis, sending small sprays of white dust up every footfall. To say she was irritated was an understatement.

Artemis sighed not for the first time that day and pulled her cloak tighter around her. "Because Sera, do you honestly think the animals would be able to make it safely along the narrow paths we are going to have to sidle along?"

Sera grumbled an inaudible reply before starting to kick up plumes of snow as she walked. Behind the leading pair Varric was struggling with the depth of the snow as each step forced him further down, his legs currently frozen from the knees down. Just behind him however was the giant qunari who seemed unfazed by the ground under his feet. His booming laughter rang out, travelling a large distance the mage beside him was sure, before he lifted the dwarf up and into the air.

Varric twisted and writhed in the air as Cole watched on, slightly amused. "What do you think you're doing. Andraste's goat, put me down!"

"But you're sinking further and further down my little friend. Soon you'll be up to your neck in this stuff. You can sit on my head if you want, c'mon it'll be fun remember."

Varric managed to unhook Bianca from his back and point it at Bull. "I don't give a nug's wrinkled ass if I'm up to my neck in the snow. No dwarf get's picked up, carried or tossed. That's the universal rule as old as the Stone itself." He narrowed his eyes. "Now down, or Bianca get another taste of qunari."

Bull shrugged his broad shoulders and opened his hands, allowing the dwarf to plummet downwards. Hitting the ground he sank deep into the snow before reappearing and shaking the white dust from his hair and face. Sera giggled and pointed and him before managing to speak a sentence between snorting laughter. "It's because you're so dense Varric."

The playful antics continued through their dangerous climb, everyone trying not to think about the cold or their hunger and tiredness. Their spirits teetered along a knife's edge, dangerously close to slipping into anger and frustration at the odds stacked against them. As hopes dwindled at reaching the summit before night fell or the harsh winds swept them away, they finally crested the mountain and all sat down resting their shaky legs. Off into the distance, not too far from where they were gathered, the familiar green glow of the Fade seeping into this world could be seen. The sight of it made Artemis' hand sting as she recalled the pain it took to close so many rifts before.

As they slowly made their way towards the rift, Artemis began to refresh the companions' memories about closing the rifts. "Ok, so hopefully you all remember the drill. Kill anything that comes out. It looks like I'm going to have to tear it fully open before I can close it and I'm afraid I can't be subtle about it. Just stay safe and I'll try and be as quick as possible."

She took a quick check of the surrounding area around the rift and positioned everyone in her mind. "Varric and Sera, I want you up on that rocky shelf making sure nothing gets away." Varric nodded in approval and readied Bianca. Sera gave a swift salute and took off bounding.

"Dorian you can be wherever you feel most efficient, I just ask you keep anything off my back while I'm closing." Dorian agreed and began circling the rift looking for the most advantageous position.

Artemis smiled at Bull and Cole who were left with her. "Come on my boys. You know how it is. We will be the innermost defense. Let's go." With that the trio jogged forward until they were all but standing underneath rift. She gave one last look around to her companions, nodding at each as a sign of reassurance.

Artemis closed her eyes and focused on the tingling sensation in her hand. She felt it grow cooler, the familiar chill of the Fade entwining around her fingers. She clenched her hand tight and thrust it in the air, feeling the tingle intensify. The rift began to shift and the air around the group buzzed as if lightning had struck nearby. The Inquisitor opened her palm skyward before ripping it downward and tearing open the Veil, allowing the Fade to bleed through.

At this moment, a searing pain jolted through Artemis' hand and up her arm, something which was not usual when dealing with rifts. She staggered almost falling to a knee but managed to stay standing. _What is happening? Is this some aftereffect of the Breach being sealed?_

Cole had seen the Inquisitor waver and was so very tempted to close the distance between them in a single leap to comfort her. But when he saw her regain her composure, his heart steadied itself as well. And just in time it seemed as a horde of terror demons burst forth from the gouge in the sky.

Chaos ensued as arrows flew and spells soared. Bull's axe arced through the air slicing demons and spilling black blood into the ground, staining the snow. Artemis backflipped to put some distance between herself and the fighting so as to take aim. As soon as she landed she fired a shot at a fearling clutching for Dorian. Sera and Varric had those fleeing under control, but Cole and Bull were beginning to become overrun as the outpouring of fearlings did not cease.

 _I must close this quickly before it gets too out of hand._ Artemis sprinted forward and ducked under a huge swing from Bull before rising and thrusting her bow into the abdomen of a demon. She continued to swing at the creatures, the strength of her metal bow staggering the foes. She heard a curse from the qunari and spun to see a nimble abomination dangling from his horns while clubbing the large head between. Cole had one eye closed and was lining up a dagger to throw but frowned in hesitation, realising it was too heavy a gamble in case he missed and lodged his knife in the Iron Bull's skull. Voicing his protest to Artemis, she leapt into action, grabbing one of the gangly legs of the creature and yanking it free. Throwing it to the ground, she pulled an arrow from her quiver and shoved it into it's neck, silencing it's gurgles.

Dorian yelped in surprise as the head of the horde made it's appearance through the rift. The towering and spindly form of the fear demon was a sight to behold and invoked a particular sense of dread no other could summon. All attacks turned to it except those of the rogues on the cliff edge. Cole launched a venom coated knife and it hit it's mark, burying itself deep in the demon's eye socket. The demon let out a blood curdling screech and dropped onto all fours.

 _This is my chance, it must be now!_ Artemis once again lifted her hand upwards, tapping into the pool of cool energy she now associated with the Fade. Her arm began to tremble as the rift shuddered, beginning to close. The tingling grew unusually strong and she started to panic, pain spreading through her whole body. She clenched her teeth, willing the Maker and all the elven deities to give her the strength to slam this door from the Fade shut.

"DO IT ALREADY MOONY!" Varric's shout echoed across the field impossibly loud, but Artemis could only hear a muffled mumble. Her head had become hazy and her vision blurred. She fell to one knee, looking up at the green glow above her, wondering what went wrong. She collapsed into the snow, her hand burning with an unknown ferocity. She watched lifelessly as Bull took the head of the fear demon and Cole rushed to her side. Despite seeing his lips moving and his hand coming to her face, she could hear nothing and feel even less.

As the rest of the companions came into her view, Artemis' vision dimmed and she felt chilling fingers mingle with her own burning ones. The strange hand then clasped hers and pulled her from existence.


	7. Chapter 7

"Wake, my child," a soothing voice whispered. "You have been delivered from harm's way, but now it is time to rise." The soft voice drifted to the pointed ears of the dalish Inquisitor and she opened her eyes to see whom the voice belonged to.

Her vision was tinted with a slightly sickening green hue and the air she was breathing somehow seemed stale. The ground she was laying on was moist and spongy and altogether rather unpleasant. Artemis sprang to her feet hastily and whirled around trying to find the source of the calming voice, hoping it would have some answers for her. She laid her eyes upon another elf, dalish, tall and still covered in his blood writing. The markings, unlike those delicate swirling lines of her vallaslin that Solas had removed, were harsh and angular which made the male elf appear stern and cruel. But Artemis knew this elf, and knew that he was the farthest thing from cruel.

"Keeper Zathralen? I don't understand." Artemis' voice was quiet, confused and desperate. She reached out a hand towards the elf, thinking it a mad vision and expecting the touch to simply pass through. However when her hand came to the male's shoulder it did not fall through, instead it rested there and felt a living warmth that the air around her was devoid of. "Why are you here? Weren't you taking the clan to the Dales?"

Zathralen raised his hand to silence her before saying gently, "hush child. Don't you know where you are?"

Artemis lowered her head in resignation. "I had suspected I had somehow fallen through to the Fade. But how? Are the others here? How do I leave?" Questions whizzed around inside her head scrambling over each other for priority. Then something caught her attention. She raised her gaze to her Keeper, and a lump formed in her throat. "Keeper, you didn't… You were never known for your Fade walking… Keeper Zathralen, please, tell me I'm wrong."

Zathralen smiled at her. "You always were a quick learner, my dear Artemis. I have left the clan and the mortal land under their feet. The aravels were attacked and many a brave elf gave their life so the rest could make it home to the Dales, their new Keeper included."

Artemis could not believe what she was being told. Zathralen was not an old man even by human standards. Yet he was wise beyond his years and had always protected the clan. Hot tears stung her eyes, and the stifling air suddenly became thicker than it seemed. _How could he have died when he had so much more to give?_

A warm hand touched her cheek and wiped away her tears. "Do not fret, my child. The clan did not lose their First. It is now Haharel who guides them through the darkness. And my trust, I place it wholly with him, as should you."

Artemis bowed deeply, "yes, Keeper."

Zathralen tipped her head upwards and smiled warmly at her. "I am no longer your Keeper, child."

Artemis threw her arms around the tall man, hugging him tightly, a specialty she reserved for only her closest friends. "Yes, father."

Zathralen gently pushed her away, breaking off the embrace. "It is time, little one. Your companions were pulled into the Fade alongside you. You must find them and defeat the evil at the heart of this chill. They are waiting urgently for your return, one in particular, I must say." He chuckled softly.

"How?"

"Follow your heart. That is all I can say, unfortunately. Be strong, young child, and know I will always be at your side." With that, Zathralen burst into a white mist and slowly dissipated.

Seeing this brought on a fresh set of tears and Artemis scolded herself for being so weak. She could not stop the tears from falling however and started to wander aimlessly in a desperate attempt to find her companions. _I wonder how Cole is handling being in the Fade. He mentioned how glad he was that he wasn't with us when it first happened._

An unbelievably loud noise suddenly rippled through the air and Artemis jolted to attention. _That is Iron Bull's horn!_ She broke into a sprint in the direction of the sound, splashing through brown stagnant puddles of foul water. She caught sight of Bull's horns poking out over the top of a hill and with a final push, ignoring the burning in both her legs and lungs, she raced up the slope. Once she reached the top she doubled over, gulping in huge mouthfuls of air. Everyone waited patiently for her to catch her breath.

When she stood upright finally, she was meet with bemused faces. Bull nudged Dorian and gave a lopsided grin. "Looks like _someone_ has been skipping exercise day."

"That's because someone is an absolute slave driver with those lessons," Sera glared at Varric as she emphasised the word.

Varric laughed. "Perhaps, but you wouldn't have seen the short legged dwarf get winded by a little hill."

While they were bickering, Cole was looking worriedly at the Inquisitor. He noticed her face, although red from being short of breath, was also blotchy and her eyelashes were damp. "Have you been crying?" He asked quietly, but his voice was carried away by the others.

Artemis noticed Cole's gaze and quickly clapped her hands, gathering the attention of her party. "Top priority is getting out of here, then we worry about the rift. Varric and Sera you two will remember what the Fade feels like, but the rest of you be warned. This is not a pleasant place and we would do best not to linger. Dorian be especially on guard while you're here, I don't want there to be anyone else inside your head when we get out."

Dorian nodded, understanding the levity of the situation. "So how does one escape the Fade?"

"Well there is probably some ugly arse, demon abomination, thingy, somewhere in here that's responsible for dragging us down into it's lair." Sera spoke up and everyone noticed she was in the middle of a handstand. "So we find, we kill and we leave, yeah? Easy." She flipped the right way up and buckled her quiver back in place. "Oh and we definitely don't listen to whatever bullshit it spouts, cause it's just trying to worm inside our pretty heads."

Dorian narrowed his eyes in doubt. "Fair enough, I suppose. Shall we go then? I'm more than eager to be done with this dank place."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Although some were seemingly unfazed by the reality of them being in the Fade, each and every one of the travellers were on edge and overwhelmingly uncomfortable in this place. The Fade was not only physically challenging, but it played tricks on the psyche, goading weak minded people into cracking. If someone slipped and let their mind be overcome, it was a grim future, bound to never escape the nightmare.

They set off in a random direction, hoping it would lead somewhere. _Cole seems to be handling this very well. Perhaps now that he is more human he is not so… What am I thinking? Why did I assume that he would struggle in the Fade? Just because he was a spirit and this once was his home? Fool_.

It was about three quarters of an hour before anything of interest occurred. At first, it was only a shadowy object in the corner of everyone's eye. Cole had noticed it first, but perhaps this was because he was hyper sensitive in this place. Since meeting up with the Inquisitor, there had been a quiet whisper inside his head, nothing but a dull nagging. However, since then the voice had grown louder, drowning out all of his thoughts and making him overly nervous.

The shadow followed the group, always a few feet behind them. To everyone it was just there, but to Cole it was trailing behind him specifically. **_Loud isn't it?_** Cole whipped his head around to see the darkness. The shadow had spoken in his mind over the top of the constant ramblings of the Fade. **_That voice, what once was a whisper, what now is a shout. Is it in your head though, is it only you? You look around and wonder, wonder whether they hear it too. Is it your home, welcoming you back, Mercy?_** Before Cole could stop himself he had muttered aloud, "who are you?"

"What was the Kid?" Varric and the others had turned to him. "You gotta speak up for me, I'm a long way down compared to you humans," he chuckled.

Cole just shook his head, slightly embarrassed and continued walking with his head down. **_To answer your question with another question, Mercy, don't you remember me? Have you completely forgotten about your friends back home? It's me, Caution._** At the mention of that name, Cole flinched, as if he'd been burnt. He breathed his question, "why are you following me? Help us out of here, please."

The shadowy figure wobbled behind him, before speaking to Cole again. **_You're acting strangely, and you aren't shining anymore like you used to, Mercy… Well that's just it, isn't it? You're not Mercy anymore, are you? That world has corrupted you, twisted you, molded you into something you were never meant to be... Despair._** Cole gritted his teeth at being insulted with a demon's name. "I am no demon, Caution," he muttered. "Solas told me I could be as humans are, but it was the Inquisitor who showed me how to act and helped me to feel the things they feel."

The figure grew spikes. **_No! They turned you into a demon. You were different, you survived outside the Fade for so long without being corrupted and then this, this Inquisitor, made Mercy go away and Despair take it's place. Go away from this place and take your taint with you, Despair!_**

The demonic name swirled around in Cole's head along with the constant drone of the voice before which was now shouting. The Fade was too much for him now, he should never have come back. He clutched his head and shook it violently before screaming at the top of his lungs, "don't call me that! I want to go home!"

Silence was all that followed, filling in the void as Cole's outburst echoed endlessly. All turned to Cole, wearing varying expressions of concern, the most upsetting appearing on the visages of Varric and Artemis. Rushed footsteps towards the panicked young man and he was surrounded by his companions asking various questions over each other.

"What happened?"

"What's wrong?"

"What's spirit boy's deal?"

"Kid, talk to me, what's happening?"

"Cole, help me understand. You need to explain how I can help you. _Please Cole_."

All of the voices clashed together, becoming a sea of words and letters and punctuations, but somehow the Inquisitor's was as clear as crystal. He tore at his hair and face before speaking, "the shadow, it's speaking to me, taunting me, telling me lies. I have to get out of this place. This is not my home anymore."

"Cole it's ok. You are fine. We are going to leave as soon as possible." Artemis gently pulled his hands from his face to stop him from doing any harm. _Cole, don't hurt that beautiful face of yours. You are too precious for this world._

Cole spoke as if nobody else we present, directly to the Inquisitor. "No, it's not fine. Dark things remember me, tempting me to stay." He looked directly into her eyes, wondering how something so perfect could exist in a world like this. "We have to leave, now, please." His pleas we heartrending.

Artemis gathered him into a tight embrace, rocking gently, trying to calm him. The Iron Bull spoke up, "hey Boss, that shadow thing is gone."

Varric followed up with a statement of his own. "Yeah, and don't you think it's just a bit too quiet?"

Everyone noticed the pure silence and backed up to each other, forming a tight circle, ready to attack from any angle. Dorian cast down a fire rune around them which would trigger on the lightest of touches. Artemis could feel Cole shaking violently on her right side, so she entwined her small hand with his, curling her long fingers around his palm. She noticed the shaking soften and smiled to herself. _What am I doing? It's like my body is acting on it's own accord, regardless of what my head is telling me_.

Just then a loud noise echoed through the silence and a figure stepped out of nothing and strutted forward toward the group. The thing was tall and had the form of a bodacious women. Her scant clothing did not leave a lot to be desired and her skin was a purple hue. Had she not been a demon as the group suspected, one could have said she was attractive. But the burning eyes and clawed hands ruined her charm and replaced it with unrest.

Sera was the first the act. She knocked an arrow and pulled back the string on her bow as tight as it would go and held it, showcasing the immense strength the wiry elf possessed. She did not release the arrow however, instead she waited for the demon to step into Dorian's fire trap.

But the demonic seductress did not fall for the trick. She stopped just shy of the burning circle and peered at the group.

Artemis could feel Cole's shaking begin to increase in intensity beside her and she squeezed his hand gently to reassure him.

The demon raised her hand to her mouth and nibbled suggestively on one of her long fingers before speaking. "My my, what have we here?" Her voice was breathy and low and she gave a knowing smirk. "If it isn't the famous Inquisition. I've heard much about you. I watched on as the Nightmare tore that Shroud limb from limb, sapping his fear as it leaked from his ruined body." She laughed cruelly as she watched the faces in front of her twist in anguish and anger.

Sera released the arrow but the demon had vanished, and the group watched the arrow sail through the empty air before hitting a rock wall and falling into a muddy puddle. Sera cursed.

"Fear is not my domain however, mortals, so fear not." The temptress could not be seen but her voice was as clear as if she was whispering right into one's ear. "I am so much more pleasant than my brethren. Shall we see what lies buried in the dark corners of your minds, my friends?"

Her voice changed positions and an echo followed its every word. "The Iron Bull, I find it rather selfish that you never tell your lover how he always exceeds your wild fantasies in the bedroom. Or that you've never told him about those scenarios at all."

Sera snickered and cast a sideways glance at Bull as he replied to the bodiless voice. "He knows. Is that seriously the best you've got to offer, demon?"

"Of course it isn't, but I had to get the overtly promiscuous character out of the way first for when it comes to sexuality, your tongue is almost as loose as…some other things."

Bull growled and grew fidgety, while blushes spread across the pale visages of Artemis and Cole.

"Speaking of sexuality, Master Pavus, it is quite indecent to enjoy being strung up in chains, and bound in leather as much as you do. And wishing your father could see you in such positions is just naughty."

Dorian shuffled uncomfortably. They heard the demon's laugh close by and Sera let out a shriek as it's cold hand brushed down her cheek before disappearing once more.

"Sera, the little sneak. Spying at couples during intimate encounters and using their pleasure to create your own euphoria. Oh and what do you think that 'elf hating' baker would say if he knew that you long for the hot touch of another woman?"

Sera released a volley in random directions, praying one would hit something, all the while shouting 'shut it' in between each arrow.

"Hush now child, don't you want to know what dirty thoughts are dancing around your innocent Inquisitor's head?" At this Sera quietened and Artemis dropped Cole's hand. "Artemis, how your cheeks redden at your own thoughts! Those lonely nights you spend in your big bed, wishing for a certain pair of hands and a certain pair of lips. The way you get all worked up thinking about his long fingers caressing your bare flesh and the taste of his kiss, would make even the Rivaini pirate blush!" Artemis covered her burning face in her hands and refused to meet any of her companions' eyes.

Cole was looking at her, his face the image of hurt and jealousy. The malevolent spirit noticed this and her laugh echoed through the Fade. "Such envious thoughts for one so inexperienced as you, my dear Cole." She appeared next to Cole, pressing her body flush against his. His eyes squeezed shut when her searching fingers slid down his shirt collar. "That steamy novel has put so many thoughts in your head, hasn't it? You want to do all of them, don't you? But only with her. The thought of running your tongue across skin other than hers flips your tummy, doesn't it? Smelling any scent apart from the delicate flowers you picture her bathing in makes your nose itch, doesn't it?"

Cole lashed out at the entity clinging to him, only to find his swings meeting thin air. His face was a dark shade of pink and his hands were shaking, his mind now filled with wrong thoughts about his Inquisitor.

The demon howled with laughter, so pleased with herself. She materialised herself above the group on a rocky ledge, before she delved into the mind of the dwarf. "Ahhhh, Bianca-" She was unexpectedly cut off by an arrow piercing her abdomen. It had come from the dwarf's crossbow.

Varric was aiming another arrow at the seductress as she scrabbled the pull the one from her bare midriff. "No lowly bitch like you deserves to know a thing about my Bianca," he spat, his voice low and gravely. He pulled the crossbows trigger and the second arrow pierced just above the first.

The demon screeched and fell from the ledge before getting to her feet and lifting the dwarf into the air from across the room. Chaos broke out as everyone sprang into action. Dorian engulfed her in fire and Varric was dropped. She dampened the flames, her scant clothing now only tatters, and conjured multiple copies of herself. The archers fired rapidly trying to find the true image, but it was one of Cole's daggers which found their foe. The toxicity of the poison which coated the dagger had no effect, but Dorian took advantage of its flammability and ignited it. In her panic, Bull swung his great axe and lopped off her head in one fell swoop.

While the horned head rolled across the damp ground, the devastated body fell lifelessly to its knees before exploding in a brilliant green light. The Inquisitor beckoned everyone through the rift hastily before leaping through herself. Landing heavily in cold snow, she whipped around and sealed the rift, healing the scar in the world. She then fell exhausted into the snow, breathing heavily.

As the group got to their feet, an awkward silence was all the filled the air. Worried glances were exchanged between Varric, Sera, Dorian and Bull, but not one meet Cole and Artemis' eyes. Everyone understood what the demon had revealed about the pair but nobody dared bring it up, for this was something they needed to resolve themselves, privately.

Artemis, staring at the ground, embarrassed that her comrades now knew of her intimate thoughts and feeling unworthy of their respect, she muttered a quick 'let's go' before leading the party back down the mountain.

The entire journey back to Skyhold was awkward as the Inquisitor silently stayed a few feet in front of the group at all times. She appeared to be in a state of solemn introspection and once they entered Skyhold, she went straight to the stables, dismounted and headed to her chambers, locking the door behind her.

* * *

 **AN: really sorry about the long wait between chapters. Going to try much harder to update moreoften. Thanks for reading and I'm always open to criticism or comments of any kind.**


	8. Chapter 8

Two days passed. Artemis remained locked in her chambers the entire time, trying to figure out what to do, or simply waiting for it to all go away, she was uncertain. The party had filled in the rest of the Inquisition about their encounter with the demon in the Fade, sans those intimate thoughts that nobody was willing to share again. They were beginning to worry. On the urging of everyone else, Sera had come to her door, demanding to be let in, but had only been met with silence.

Vivienne had left for Orlais on the first evening, and Blackwall had been called to Weisshaupt for his official Joining the following day, both requesting to be written as soon as the Inquisitor left her room.

Inside her chambers, Artemis was curled up in her bed with the covers pulled over her head. Despite the chilling snow that had fallen continuously since their return, the stained glass doors leading to the balcony remained open, causing a dusting of snow to fill the room.

 _What am I supposed to do?_ Not for the first time her thoughts returned to this question. _How am I ever to face Cole again, now that he knows how perverse I am. He probably thinks I want to take advantage of him. Oh Maker, why?_

Artemis was jolted from her thoughts by a loud whistle followed by a thunk. Her heart sped up and she froze, trying to remember if she had returned her dagger to its place under her pillow. A quick search revealed she had not and her stomach sank. She paused, holding her breath and waited for her assailant to uncover her.

Moments passed before she heard exasperated grunts coming for somewhere, and with a heavy groan they were suddenly gone again. _This is it_ , she thought, _brace yourself Artemis_.

Silence, then suddenly the covers were ripped off of her and she was surrounded by the orange evening sun and the biting winter air. She squinted to see that the culprit was none other than Sera, who was frantically tying her bedsheets together.

"What are you doing, Sera?" she asked as she sat up and wrapped her arms around herself and let her long white hair out.

"Helping Varric, stupid dwarf wouldn't leave his precious Bianca down there on the side of the cliff." As Sera continued making a rope out of her Ferelden linen, Artemis gazed out onto the balcony where a rope was hanging. Further investigation revealed it was bound to an arrow, which was specific to Varric's crossbow, wedged in the wooden frame of the door. Artemis shook her head and hopped off the bare bed. She walked to her armoire and picked out a long thick cloak and shrugged it on. She then walked past her desk, noting the layer of snow covering it and the papers, and looked over the side of the balcony.

"You're up Moony, that's great!" Varric yelled from a great distance down. "Now tell Buttercup to hurry up, I'm freezing a nug's ass off down here."

"Yeah yeah, quit your whining," came Sera's voice beside her. She dropped the makeshift rope down to Varric, who after a couple of jumps, managed to cling on and climb his way up and over the stone railing.

Helping Varric up, Artemis smiled and stated dryly, "you know I could have just unlocked the door for you."

"Alas, doors are for people with no imagination. And as you know, that's something I have in abundance." He laughed before turning serious. "Now let's get you sorted out and presentable because you are leaving this room and coming to dinner at the tavern."

Artemis began to protest but was interrupted. "No objections."

* * *

Sera fixed Artemis' hair into a simple design, leaving most of it down but braiding sections at the top, while Varric sat at her chair with his feet on the desk talking to her. "Quit worrying about what you think everyone thinks about you. So what if you fantasise about someone," he didn't say the name as Sera would have likely pulled chunks of Artemis' hair out.

"You always prided yourself in the fact that the peoples' Inquisitor was just an ordinary person, and this just further cements that idea. To be perfectly honest, I think they would be disappointed if the demon said you were hollow inside." Varric chuckled and hopped off of the chair. "I'll leave you girls to change. Meet you at the Rest in a bit. Don't take too long, everyone will be waiting." He walked towards the door before Artemis spoke.

"I thought doors were for people lacking in imagination Varric?"

The dwarf laughed and rubbed his neck. "Yeah, well, I'm not too fond of looking down, that's all." He left promptly, his pride wounded, and Sera walked to the armoire and picked out a simple, pale blue long sleeved dress. She waited for Artemis to dress before tying the white sash around her slight waist. Sera herself was wearing a pair of leather leggings and patchwork wool overshirt.

"C'mon, let's go already, I'm starved." Sera grabbed the other elf's hand and rushed her from the room, bounding down the stone steps. They zipped past everyone in the main hall as they hurried to bow to their Inquisitor. They then burst into the tavern which was relatively quiet, only a few lonely souls about, apart from Artemis' inner circle. Bull cheered as they made their way to the long table and sat down, and placed huge mugs of ale in front of the pair. Sera turned her nose up at it and slid it beside Artemis' before getting up to get some mead.

Despite feeling anxious, Artemis engaged in friendly conversation and witty banter. She was relieved when none of her companions mentioned the demon, or even looked at her in any manner other than the usual. However, it was Cole who was oddly quiet the entire evening, and refused to meet her eye. _I think he knows_. Her heart sank a little at the thought, and plummeted further at the next. _I bet it's Maryden he thinks about_. Artemis shook her head and smiled, laughing with the others at a joke she hadn't heard.

Cole had heard her pained thoughts and had to restrain himself from saying anything. Instead he repeated the same line in his head over and over wishing she would hear. _It's you. It's you. It's you…_

After they had indulged themselves in fine food, they tried their luck with a game of Wicked Grace, with Josephine prevailing, as usual. They all then made their way back to their chambers, huddling in the cold, pockets a little lighter. Artemis smiled to herself as she closed her door behind her, happy that nothing had changed between her friends. When she made her way up the stairs, she was given a fright as she saw Cole sitting cross legged on her bed, and a small yelp escaped her mouth.

Cole furrowed his brow in worry, but relaxed when Artemis waved her hand at him. She steadied her heart as she closed all the doors and lit the fireplace in an attempt to drive away the chill. She stood with her back to the fire and spoke, "Cole, is everything-"

"It's not Maryden," was all Cole said. He got off the bed and slowly made his way towards her.

Artemis' heart picked up tempo once again and she tried to calm the situation. "Cole, I don't understand what you're saying. Maryden isn't what?"

Cole kept advancing, but it was not menacing. "My thoughts. They are never about Maryden. When the demon saw inside my head, it was not a bard it saw. Sweet, soft, warm and wanting, but not Maryden, never Maryden, always another, only one other."

He was standing just in front of Artemis when he stopped. She waited, paralysed entirely except her pounding heart. He was staring at her, into her, his blue eyes soft yet determined. He raised his hand tentatively and hovered just shy of her cheek for a moment before he laid his warm hand down on her face. Her eyes fluttered shut on their own and she unknowingly leant into his touch. Cole spoke again, this time his voice was at her ear and was breathier than normal, "only you."


	9. Chapter 9

Although Artemis' cheeks burnt, she was overwhelmed with joy and relief. She opened her eyes to see Cole's face, also dusted with a pink blush, adorned with a small smile. Tears sprang forth as she too smiled, before giggling softly and looking down, blissfully bashful. Cole moved his hand from her cheek to her narrow chin and tipped her head upwards, meeting his gaze with hers. He raised his other hand and brushed the falling tears from her face. "Why are you crying? I am so sorry for making you sad, do you wish me gone?" His voice was quiet and unsure, completely different from how determined it had been before.

Artemis' heart dropped and she was quick to act. She threw her arms around Cole's narrow shoulders and leant her head against his warm chest. She was comforted by the beat of his heart and she whispered, "of course I don't want you to leave. I never want to be apart from you Cole." She heard his heart skip and change its rhythm, and she brought a hand to his chest, feeling it aswell. _My sweet Cole...I never thought this day possible._

Cole threaded his fingers through her long hair as he embraced the lady leaning against him. _Spirits her hair is so soft._ He inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet scent he had only smelt a handful of blessed times. _How she puts every flower's perfume to shame is beyond understanding._ Cole placed his free hand over hers resting on his chest, and noted it's feeling. _Her hands are so small and delicate, like a fragile doll without the cold lifelessness. Yet with such agility and accuracy does she wield that strong bow of hers. Oh how she contradicts her very being, if only I could express these sentiments to her._

Cole felt Artemis' arms tighten around his body before she whispered, "why me, Cole?"

He faltered. _Why? How can I explain this feeling to her without forgetting even the tiniest of detail?_ He rubbed his thumb idly in circles on the back of her soft hand as he tried to convey his deepest emotions to the elf in his arms. "From that very first moment you fell into my world, so too did you fall into my heart. Your inaudible cries of pain and hurt filled my ears as that demon tried to become you, but that mockery could only muster a pale imitation of everything you were. I followed you, just shy of your senses, from the beginning, protecting you from unseen evils as you struggled not to doubt yourself before the projections of your dying companions. And when I finally revealed myself to you, you could have run or lashed out in violence like so many before you. But you stayed and you listened. And when I appeared on your table in front of all your skeptical advisors, you defended and you pleaded. For me."

"Rarely, both within the Fade and without, had one stood up for me, the spirit, the demon, the forgotten boy. But here I had bore witness to a human elf, possessing no magic and no knowledge of my past, who stood at sword point to guard an odd boy in an oversized hat she had barely known. My heart had ached, and I had no idea why. During my time in Haven, as Varric began teaching me things, I could always feel you, all your pain and apprehension and guilt and sadness. When you would take me beyond those low walls of that snowy village, I was overjoyed, although unknowingly, for I got to travel at the side of my compassionate saviour."

Artemis raised her head to look at the face of the young man which was darkened by shadows thrown by the low light of the hearth. She reached up and removed the beloved hat from Cole's head and rested it gently on the mantle. Turning back to his face she noticed the tears that were welled in his eyes. She felt an immense sorrow looking at the innocence of the boy before her. She held his face in her hands. "C-Cole I had no idea that…that you felt this way so early. Why didn't you say something. I feel like I've burdened you and by gods that is the last thing I want to do to you."

Cole breathed deeply before removing her hands from his face and holding them warmly in his own. "You could never burden me. I barely understood the simplest of feelings through Varric's conversations, how could I have explained what I felt to him let alone to you?"

"But-"

"Please Artemis, let me go on, for my sake as much as for the answer to your question." Artemis nodded quietly and waited.

"All those feelings and thoughts I had begun to have in Haven were soon very overpowered by those that followed once we reached Skyhold. I faced being cast out of the Inquisition by Vivienne and Cassandra, and losing all those memories and time with you. But once more, you were there at my defence, a gleaming light in the darkness that shone for me. I wanted to believe it was for only me, but I was not delusional, I understood enough to know that others were enraptured with you just as I was. And however could I hope to compete with the likes of them? I watched as you and Solas grew closer and closer, sharing moments alone and dreams together. And I felt your pain soften when he was near you, so I waited back in the shadows, spending my hours alone in the inn. While Solas' feelings for you grew, so too did mine blossom in the dark."

"Those feelings stayed with me, unchanging and unfamiliar to me until that day in Redcliffe. After almost ending that man's life but being unable to, it was as if something changed inside me. Varric would later help, but at the time it was as if those feelings suddenly exploded and was replaced with something so very much more intense. Your radiant beauty I thought could not be bested, suddenly changed into a thousand tiny details coming together to form the perfect being. The stories I'd heard of Andraste's grace and beauty were nothing when I looked at you. Your soul was brighter than anything I'd seen, even in the Fade."

"And then that day came. When I saw your bare face, clear from the swirling green markings I'd always known you with, I heard your anguish more. I felt your heart bleed as you walked numb though the following days, Solas echoing through your mind but no longer present at your side. I wished, wanted so desperately to help soothe you, but you distanced yourself from everyone. And then it was done, gone, finished. Corypheus had be slain by the mighty Inquisition and Solas vanished. Jubilant crowds are said to have celebrated over all of Thedas. From Val Royeaux in Orlais, to Denerim in Ferelden, to Dairsmuid in Rivain, to Minrathous in the Imperium, and Kirkwall and Starkhaven and Antiva and even all the way to Qunandar in Par Vollen, royalty and commoners alike sung together with bards, telling the tale of the courageous Dalish elf who purged the world of their fear. That Dalish elf, who in all her gorgeous glory, stood before the bowing King and Queen of Ferelden, with the facade of a humble citizen, all the while being tormented inside over her lost love. I watched in pained silence as she stopped eating and sleeping when she should have been rejoicing with the world. The one thing I have never wanted to do more in my entire existence was to go to your side, to take you in my arms and rock you to sleep, to dry your tear stained face and restore your overwhelming beauty, charm and soul. I would have traded everything on this mortal coil to make you happy again, to bring back that bright light that had shone for me in my darkest times. But I could not. I could only watch you suffer in grief and melancholy, for what was I compared to the great Solas? How could I hope to mend that scar?"

The tears fell from Cole's eyes as his voice hitched and his breathing became laboured. He brought Artemis' hands, still wrapped in his own shaking ones, to his heart and closed his eyes. "And yet you wonder and ask 'why me'? I may not have known in the beginning but I have the answer now. You, Artemis, the amazing, beautiful and pure Artemis, have given me the greatest gift of all. The one emotion I've only known for a short time, but the one I could never live without. And now I want nothing more than to share it with you. _I love you._ That is and always will be my answer to you."

Artemis, having never before been so moved in her entire life, rose onto the balls of her feet, gaining those precious few centimetres keeping him from her. Without hesitating, she laid her lips gently against his mouth. Cole tensed against her and dropped their hands, freeing Artemis to wrap her arms around his neck without breaking contact. With this gesture, Cole relaxed into her kiss and wound one arm around her slight waist and entangled his other in her long hair.

They stayed for a time before Artemis released his now reddened lips to look at his freckled pink cheeks. "I love you too, Cole. Please don't ever leave me."

Cole smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I would rather be cast back into the Fade forever than hurt you." He stooped down and buried his face in her sweet smelling hair, his soft voice barely a whisper. "You are the most precious thing I've ever come across in all my travels. My dear Artemis…"

Her eyes had drifted shut as he had leant on her shoulder, but that intoxicating mixture of honey and milk filled her mind and she turned her head to the side, nuzzling his neck. "I am yours."

At her quiet affirmation, Cole brought his head from her shoulder and tucked a long lock of white hair behind her pointed ear, before bringing her face to his and returning his lips to those he'd barely become acquainted with, but already loved so much. _Her perfect lips feel better than I'd ever imagined. So very warm and comforting, so sweet and tender. Is this what kissing feels like for everyone?_ Just then he remembered something from Varric's book. His heart picked up tempo as he became anxious whether it would be acceptable.

Upon feeling Artemis' fingers trail up his neck to tangle with his fair hair, he decided to proceed. He felt out her plump bottom lip and ever so gently grazed it with his teeth. At the contact, he felt her fingers tighten in his hair and hoped desperately this was not a negative gesture. _These teeth which everyone stared at and made fun of have done it now, I'm such a fool thinking it would be fine._

Cole was just about to pull away, but an eager nibble on his own lip gave him pause. A shot of electricity tingled down his spine and a slight gasp escaped his mouth before it was abruptly filled. Something warm had invaded his mouth and it took but a moment before he realised it was Artemis' own tongue. His eyes shot open in shock and saw the elf's two coloured eyes also open. He felt her smile against him and her eyes lit up brightly. _She's enjoying this? Good, I'm so glad._

He relaxed and allowed instinct to take control. Reveling in the sweet taste of her mouth, but wanting more, he broke their connection and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, and then another on her jawline. She tilted her head back, exposing her pale neck and he felt a heat ignite in his belly. He left a trail of warm kisses from her jaw down her neck which elicited a sharp exhale from the elf and Cole felt her legs weaken against him.

Snapped out of his euphoric daze, he grabbed Artemis firmly, supporting her minimal weight so she did not buckle. Cole had read about this reaction from the romance serial and was aware of what followed. _I'm not sure I am quite ready to go that far. Not tonight. I do not want to seem to be taking advantage of Artemis. This has to be taken slowly and given proper sincerity._

Once Cole had steadied Artemis, he gazed at her forlornly. "I'm sorry, but I have to leave you for now. You deserve respect and compassion and I'm worried if I continue I will lose myself to this feeling and do something not worthy of you." He turned quickly away to spare himself her reaction and made his way hastily down the steps.

Before he reached the door he was stopped by Artemis calling his name. He turned around to see her at the top of the steps, hugging his hat to her chest. "You forgot something," she said quietly. He slowly climbed the steps to meet her, gazing into her eyes when he reached the top. He watched as she placed a kiss on the brass bowl of his hat before offering it to him. "Goodnight, my Cole."

Gently taking the hat from her, he saw her turn away from him and move to the fireplace where they'd been standing together moments ago. He whispered his farewell and descended the steps and closed the door behind him. _I love you,_ he thought as he clutched his hat and slid down to the stone floor.


End file.
